Taliban Demand Change

I was in New York City and bumped into someone from the Taliban leadership.  I didn’t know you guys were in New York.  He put his finger to his lips and made the sound, Shhhssss.  At least he was dressed like someone from the Taliban.  I am typically filled with self-doubt.  At least I think I am; I’m not completely certain.

I asked him what his problem is with women.  “We have no problem with women,” he replied.  You cover them all up, I observed.  “Ah, sexual gratification is a sin in our faith,” he solemnly replied.  Sexual gratification is a sin in all faiths, I answered.  “Then you understand,” he answered with a knowing look of great understanding.

We don’t cover up our women and there is no rampant sinning and any sinning that does occur is between the sinner and God.  “Do you live in the desert,” he asked.  No, I replied.  “Our desert sand is so fine it is a powder.  It gets into everything.  There are no sounds except a bleating goat and perhaps the wind.   Our ears scream at us for some form of stimulation.  Our minds scream at us for stimulation,” he explained.

Okay, I waited for more.  “Have you seen our women,” he asked.  I have, I replied.  “They have these high cheekbones, smooth skin, and a smile that is just slightly raised more at one side than the other.  I tell you I have seen grown men pass out from such smiles.  They tempt us.  Oh, it is not their intention.  They are forthcoming and friendly.  They want to feel a closeness to us.  I tell you it is maddening.  All they want is sex, sex, and more sex.  We tried reasoning with them; they just don’t get it.  They are born temptresses and ignorant of their conduct.  All we can do is cover them up,” he lamented.

You want women reporters to cover their faces, I stated.  “Seeing them day after day in people’s homes.  I tell you there will be riots at the broadcast stations; if not riots then suicides,” he replied.  An independent station suggested an alternate that is pictured above.  “Yes, his suggestion has been submitted to us and we are considering it,” he replied.

I thank you for talking with me.  “We talk to everyone but in this instance, I was not here and have never been to New York; shhhssss.”

Author: Zajacz

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