Author: Rusty
Gordon Brown Offers “I’m Not Quite the the Worst Case Scenario”; Is
Now, not only do we have Posh Dave Cameron and his Tory scumsters picking on poor old Gordon Brown – the Stalinist Slime Minister nobody voted for – but he’s getting it in the neck from all and sundry and…
Shock Jocks “Ant & Dec” to Interview Royal Princes
It was announced by Clarence House this week that as part of the 30th anniversary celebrations for The Prince’s Trust, HRH Prince Charles, and sons Wills and Harry will demean their Royal dignity to a fresh low in being interviewed…
Cosmetic Surgeons Head South at Y in the Road
According to research just published in the British Journal of Aesthetic Twatology the latest craze to displace the tanning parlour cult of looking like a darkie immigrant and contracting melanoma is undergoing surgery to create perfect vulval genitalia. No really,…
CIA Balanced Budget thanks to Low-Cost Uzbeki Torture
According to a scathing report published today in the International Daily, the CIA relied on military intelligence extracted from Jolly Jihadi Muslim prisoners by methods of torture at extraordinary rendition centres in Uzbekistan. Uz-beki-where? someone shouts from the depths of…
Merry Bloody Christmas with Call of Duty, Modern Warfare
The long wait is finally over for video game aficionados and those chronically addicted and desperate to get their hands on a copy of Call of Duty : Modern Warfare Mk 2 – the festive season’s latest release for a…
Grandpa Arrested for Calling Spade a “Damn Spade”
Has the E-USSR bestowing Big Brother Gestapo-style powers on the UK’s local council bureaucratic jobsworths and their PFI housing association gophers gone totally to their heads? Do you believe the adage that power tends to corrupt – but those of…
Guinness Record for Nor-Kor Lady Driver
A North Korean woman is celebrating after passing her written theory and vehicle maintenance exam for a driving licence – on her 950th attempt – and too received a telegram from the Guinness World Records Book congratulating her. After sixty…
Pub Crawl Criticized as Destruction Derby for Livers
A High Court judge sitting at the Old Bailey went totally ballistic and spit the dummy yesterday concerning the supposed ‘professional’ activities of a leisure company titled Carnage UK which organises drink-fuelled nights out for undergraduate student hooligans – one…
Brazilian Brickie Returns from the Dead
A 69-year-old Brazilian man surprised the virtual ’life’ out of the entire family by turning up, albeit a bit late, for his own funeral, according to a bizarre report on page 85 of this week’s Resurrection Gazette. Family and relatives…
Remembrance Sunday: Lest We Forget, You Know, Stuff
It is Sunday, November 8th and though Remembrance Day officially falls on the 11th of the month – to recall the end of World War One on that date in 1918 (and too the timely demise of Kaiser Bill’s Imperial…