Author: Rusty
Dubya to Become Moronvational Speaker
Who was the Illuminati’s PNAC stooge that got the US embroiled in two illegal foreign wars – solely to steal oil and opium – then a monster recession of Biblical proportions – ending up his two dodgy four-year terms with…
Higgs Boson Refuses to Come Clean on Universal Secrets
Big Bang theories that actually went ‘Bang!’, top quantum physics scientists arrested for belonging to Jolly Jihadi terrorist groups, toxic rhubarb gas leaking into the main critical mass vacuum chambers – and a legion of similar mysterious breakdowns – involving…
CIA Funding Tech, Linguistics, Some Iranian Terrorist Groups
The United States military hawks have thrown their hands up and cried “Time Out!” as they hotly deny accusations of having played a role in a deadly terrorist suicide bombing in southeast Iran. “We condemn this act of terrorism and…
Church Declares Halloween ‘Demonic’, 5 Old Ladies Shocked
A Smegmashire Church of England magazine – the Avenging Angel – has drawn severe criticism from the laity for describing people participating in traditional Halloween celebrations as “siding with the Devil”. The Avenging Angel article also claims the children’s practice…
Queen’s Royal Mail to be Sold to Dutch
As power mad as ever and still wheeler-dealing and meddling in matters far beyond his scope of limited political and intellectual skills, Labour’s very own Vermin in Ermine, Lord Peter Scandalson, is trying yet again to pawn off the Royal…
UN Official Calls for Promotion of Sodomy, Buggery, Family Values
At the United Nations Population Control Conference in Istanbul last week the Saudi Arabian-born executive director of the UN Population Fund, MsThoraya Obaid, called for more funding for the propagation of Third World population control and the ‘de-stigmatizing’ of sodomy….
Disabled Tortoise Saved from Rubbish Tip
A 30-year-old disabled tortoise (ingrown toenails and harelip), unwittingly sent to a landfill site with its owner’s rubbish, has been found alive. Sheldrake, a greater-crested Galapagos tortoise, owned by Gladys Hawksbill of Scumbridge Gardens in Smegmashire, climbed into a bin…
Dungeon Time for Disability Dragon
A man who claimed disability benefits while regularly going to the gym and appearing as a potential zillionaire investor on the BBC’s Dragon’s Den programme has been jailed for 18 months and ordered to repay £20 million in benefit claims….
Streisand Auctions Random Crap to Pay for 9th Nose Job
Fux News channel reports that rap singer and amateur actress Barbra Streisand has been selling clothes, movie costumes, personal sex toys, autographed erotic pantywear and items of garden furniture at a Los Angeles car boot auction due moving to a…
NHS Mobile Heart Surgery Scheme Wins Kudos
Like most people with any modicum of common sense Hector McTwat has an innate fear and loathing of hospitals – especially so with the current scourge of MRSA and other flesh-eating necrotic infections patients seem to catch while in any…