Month: April 2014
Who Leaked Jennette McCurdy Nude Selfies? The Answer May Surprise You
Jennette McCurdy, the 21-year-old star of Nickelodeon’s Sam and Cat and iCarly is making headlines not fit for her Nickelodeon audience. Nudey headlines. Several more semi-nude selfies have been leaked to the media, and we do mean leaked. The glossy…
Shock Saudi Royal Wedding ‘She’s Definitely In My Top 5’ Says Prince
Crown Prince Abdul Rahman Al-Saud of Saudi Arabia whose family have not only ruled the desert kingdom for over 80 years but also give the country the first part of its name, is to marry an American Jewish pork butcher…
Douch-Dad Doesn’t Arrive to Daughter’s Ballet Recital; Vagina Syndrome Suspected
A stereotypical middle class Caucasian father, owner of three adorable children is still being a huge douchebag by not arriving to his little girl’s ballet recital which begins at 4 pm. When asked on who was going to arrive to…
NASCAR to Shorten Races: Surging Gas Prices Spur Changes
NASCAR officials declared today that due to the current increase in gasoline prices, several races later this season will be shortened to save costs. According to the report issued, the money saving initiative will prevent a rise in ticket prices…
Undercover PennDOT Workers Disguised As Cops To Secretly Finish Turnpike Construction
PITTSBURGH — The Pennsylvania Department of Transportation (PennDOT) recently announced plans to disguise an elite group of its workers as police officers and place them in construction zones along the Pennsylvania Turnpike in order to secretly finish some of the…
Florida Man Eats Own Face, Goes on Epic Crime Spree
Daytona Beach, FL—On Thursday, Florida Man Randy Travers went on a spectacular 18-hour crime spree that included autocannibalism, first-degree arson, theft, voting fraud, and numerous other destructive acts. He is now in police custody, according to Sgt. Dale Reynolds of…
Arizona Scientists Prove Alien Existence; Body is Launched Back to Planet Mexico
Scientists from the University of Arizona have concluded this Friday that the possible existence of extraterrestrial life could become a reality after certain test results are finalized. The University was baffled when a 2,500 year old alien life form, Ernesto…
Kim Jong-un Diagnosed w/ Breast Cancer; Citizens Forced to Cry or be Shot
It was early spring of 2014 when the savior of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, was enjoying his three course meal in complete tranquility, an annual source of food considered by his people. To everyone’s surprise, later that day, it was…
Pistorius’ Defence ‘A Shot in the Dark’
A leaked document has been revealed to the press outlining Oscar Pistorius’ proposed defence arguments in his ongoing murder trial. The legal brief describes the three main planks to his defence designed to undermine the prosecutors case.Firstly he is to…
Malaysian Flight MH370 Survivors ‘Confirmed’
Kimi Ono, head of the MH370 survivors group, held a press conference today, to deny claims from the Malaysian investigation authorities that all those aboard the doomed plane were ‘obviously now dead’. Mrs Ono began ‘I know my husband is…