Shock Saudi Royal Wedding ‘She’s Definitely In My Top 5’ Says Prince

Crown Prince Abdul Rahman Al-Saud of Saudi Arabia whose family have not only ruled the desert kingdom for over 80 years but also give the country the first part of its name, is to marry an American Jewish pork butcher he met online at dating site e-harmony.

The woman or girl who cannot be named for legal reasons, due to her age, was presented to an expectant crowd yesterday in the capital, Riyadh.

Later in a press conference she responded to the Western media’s speculation accusing her of being a ‘gold digger’ by telling the gathered journalists ‘don’t be silly there’s no gold here, just a heck of a lot of worthless oil’.

In an unusual move it is understood that she will not relinquish her surname, creating a windfall for cartographers worldwide, as upon his assumption of the throne the kingdom will have to be renamed ‘Saudi-Silverstein Arabia’.

Questioned on the subjugation of women and her inability to drive in the kingdom the prince interrupted and responded on behalf of his fifth bride to be ‘It is a known fact that woman have very poor peripheral vision when they wear the full face veil, it’s a health and safety issue’.

The Prince continued ‘Some women are quite capable of doing some jobs outside the house, fetching water or collecting the left over rope from public hangings, for instance’.

A spokesperson for the US Foreign Office commenting on the marriage of an American minor to a foreign serial bigamist, declared ‘With regards to our allies, Saudi Arabia, otherwise referred to as the home of 15 of the 19 9/11 hijackers, or US gas station number 1, US policy is very clear, we only censure countries in the Middle East beginning with ‘I’, sorry, ‘IR’.

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