Posted in Biz News Internets Tubes

Established, High-Karma Reddit Accounts Being Sold

Apparently your karma is worth more than you know. All those years of clicking and commenting on stories, maybe they’re actually worth something. One site has Reddit accounts for sale, and they’re not shy about it. ThePublicityFirm.com says “We have…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Established, High-Karma Reddit Accounts Being Sold
Posted in Politics Serious Commentary

Opponents of SeaTac’s Minimum Wage Push-Polled me, Obviously Running Scared

There’s a dirty trick in politics called the push poll. That’s when pollsters seek to sway the election by sowing seeds of doubt. Bush did it (successfully) against McCain, and the No On Prop-1 people in Seatac tried it on…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Opponents of SeaTac’s Minimum Wage Push-Polled me, Obviously Running Scared
Posted in Politics

SeaTac Minimum Wage Vote Goes Court (and I’m the Plaintiff… seriously)

Citizens in the city of Seatac, WA, where I live, have tried to bring a $15/hr. minimum wage for airport and hospitality workers to a vote. But opponents have shut it down and I’ve filed a lawsuit against the city,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! SeaTac Minimum Wage Vote Goes Court (and I’m the Plaintiff… seriously)
Posted in Crime

Police credit urban fashion trend in helping to catch criminals

For years, our nation’s law enforcement agencies have made great technological strides in their efforts to hunt down criminals. Thanks to popular shows like CSI Miami, CSI New York, CSI Las Vegas, and the lesser known CSI Akron, CSI Schenectady…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Police credit urban fashion trend in helping to catch criminals
Posted in Politics

Obama constituency overwhelmingly supports war with Syria

Despite a Reuters/Ipsos poll showing that only 9% of Americans support military intervention in Syria, the White House today assured the public that a more recent and reliable poll leaves no doubt that the President’s constituency favors war. The poll…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Obama constituency overwhelmingly supports war with Syria
Posted in Biz News Opinion/Editorial

TGIT – Thank God It’s Tuesday

Last November and December, I experienced some shortened work weeks thanks to the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. Both holidays were preceded by shortened three-day work weeks, so I had to be extremely focused, making efficient use of every minute of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! TGIT – Thank God It’s Tuesday
Posted in Serious Commentary

Things We Should Have Learned From the Recession

Warning- This is an unfunny article. Things we should have learned from the recession: That when the chips are down and they are losing money, the big companies will give up their Ann Rand for Karl Marx and take bailout…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Things We Should Have Learned From the Recession
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc

F***ing D***head Editor Censoring **arg** Everything

INDIANAPOLIS – An absolute f***ing c**kface of an editor has left virtually his entire staff completely baffled and frustrated after meticulously sifting through a continuum of work and censoring just about every God d*** p***ing profanity written down on each…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! F***ing D***head Editor Censoring **arg** Everything
Posted in Top Stories

Bradley Manning To Be Transferred to All-Female Prison

Convicted military whistle-blower Bradley Manning, now known as Chelsea E. Manning, will be reprimanded to the all-female Federal Prison Camp in Alderson, WV to serve out his 35 year prison sentence, according to sentencing officials. “Now that Manning claims he’s…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Bradley Manning To Be Transferred to All-Female Prison
Posted in Top Stories

US vows retaliation for rebel chemical weapon use

The United States today assured the world that the “red line” against chemical weapons use applies equally to both the Assad government in Syria and the rebel forces. “We are not hypocrites,” said White House spokesperson Janus Touphaisse. “We have…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! US vows retaliation for rebel chemical weapon use
Posted in Internets Tubes

Local Man Subjects Self to Sick Experiment

CINCINNATI, OH—In an act that can only be described as some kind of emotional masochism, David Lauder, resident single, recently created a profile on a popular website intended for dating. The so-called “dating website” is a service that allows users,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Local Man Subjects Self to Sick Experiment
Posted in Making Headlines

New Trial Medication Causes Positive Thinking in Rats

WTF?! Click now to find out more! New Trial Medication Causes Positive Thinking in Rats
Posted in Biz News Society

Guy Who Otherwise Wouldn’t Give Two Shits About You Would Like to Know How that Food is Tasting

INDIANAPOLIS – Despite not really giving a flying fuck about you or your shitty feelings, Applebee’s server and part time student Josh Penticuff would really like to know how those chicken dippers are working out for you today. Penticuff, who…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Guy Who Otherwise Wouldn’t Give Two Shits About You Would Like to Know How that Food is Tasting
Posted in Society

The secret to happiness: Always remain twenty-three

Great news for all of you who have passed the big 50 milestone and are depressed that the best part of life may have passed you by. It has, of course, but be patient. In just 19 years you’ll feel…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The secret to happiness: Always remain twenty-three
Posted in Health Human Interest

Man Suffers Hernia, Sues Fast Food Chain

Jason Dimples, a 27-year old iron worker from Youngstown, Ohio, has recently filed a Complaint for injuries he received several months ago while dining with his family at a local fast food restaurant. In his Complaint, Dimples alleges he was…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Man Suffers Hernia, Sues Fast Food Chain
Posted in Politics

Gun Laws, Same-Sex Marriage, Women’s Rights, Economy, Healthcare Reform, Abortion, Stem Cell Research, Syria, Education Set to Become Number One Issue of Election

WASHINGTON D.C. – With the presidential election just 3 months away, political insiders believe that the one central issue facing the candidates in November will be gun laws, same-sex marriage, women’s rights, the economy, healthcare reform, and just generally everything…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Gun Laws, Same-Sex Marriage, Women’s Rights, Economy, Healthcare Reform, Abortion, Stem Cell Research, Syria, Education Set to Become Number One Issue of Election
Posted in War Zone

Gun Companies Realize More Profit Made Being Patriotic to Taliban than US

A major financial shift has occurred within the manufacturing section of the United States Corporate industry. A huge surge has come about in the number of guns and ammunition being clandestinely sold to the Mid East terror organization Al Queda.

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Gun Companies Realize More Profit Made Being Patriotic to Taliban than US
Posted in Science

Evidence of Life Discovered on Surface of Marsh

ANDERSON – In what has become a sensational development, sources today confirmed the discovery of life on the surface of Marsh – the Indianapolis-based food retail store. It was previously believed that life could not flourish on the store’s floor,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Evidence of Life Discovered on Surface of Marsh
Posted in Internets Tubes Strange People

Area Grandma Thinks Googling is Sex Act

A local grandmother has become convinced that “the Google” is an amorous maneuver performed during the sexual act of “Googling.” After watching a local news segment that profiled young couples who Googled each other after the first date, 74-year-old Gail…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Area Grandma Thinks Googling is Sex Act
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Internets Tubes

Crappy UK Website Denies Breaking News Princess Diana Was Murdered

“We didn’t break that news,” stated www.cafespike.com site administrator Martin Shuttlecock. “Somebody probably got us confused with the Daily Mail. Or the Express. Whatever.” Inside information has revealed that cafespike.com is staffed by a team of enthusiastic amateurs who are…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Crappy UK Website Denies Breaking News Princess Diana Was Murdered
Posted in Biz News World News

General Mills Out of Egypt: We’re Not Coup-Coup for These Cocoa Puffs

International food conglomerate and global diabetes proponent General Mills this week announced that they’ll be shuttering operations in Egypt, following unrest, citing “things to cuckoo even for us.” The 2nd largest buyer of corn syrup in the history of the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! General Mills Out of Egypt: We’re Not Coup-Coup for These Cocoa Puffs
Posted in Talky Pictures

Exclusive Interview: Julianna Rose Mauriello – Stephanie from LazyTown

Following a number of articles on Glossy News, Julianna Rose Mauriello, formerly Stephanie of LazyTown fame, agreed to sit down with us for an exclusive interview over Skype. READ ALSO: • Stephanie from LazyTown Arrested for Prostitution? • Julianna Rose…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Exclusive Interview: Julianna Rose Mauriello – Stephanie from LazyTown
Posted in Human Interest Opinion/Editorial

So you think you know Canada, eh? Seven myths about our neighbors to the north

The United States shares a border with its neighbor to the north, Canada, that’s 5,525 miles long – or if you happen to be Canadian, that’s 8,891 kilometers – not that anybody really uses kilometers, mind you. Did you know…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! So you think you know Canada, eh? Seven myths about our neighbors to the north
Posted in Human Interest

Man Bites Tongue; Unable to Eat His Words

A local man has found himself in quite a difficult situation as he unfortunately bit his tongue and was unable to eat his words after spouting off at his mother-in-law during her holiday visit to their home. Henry Smouth of…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Man Bites Tongue; Unable to Eat His Words
Posted in Sports

The Precarious Prelude of the Pugnaciously Preeminent and Predominant Green Bay Packers

Many wonder how it is that a little, forgotten town on the frozen banks of Lake Michigan could become the official first city of football. Most major league football towns are huge mothers like Los Angeles, Chicago, Denver, Atlanta, but…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! The Precarious Prelude of the Pugnaciously Preeminent and Predominant Green Bay Packers
Posted in Travel

Delta Passenger Relieved Pilot Named Wendell

THE SKY—While onboard Delta flight 326 field sales representative and coach passenger Herman Adler reported the fact that he experienced a feeling of relief upon learning that the pilot’s name was Wendell. “Sounds like a level-headed guy,” said Adler. Adler…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Delta Passenger Relieved Pilot Named Wendell
Posted in Society Strange People

Local Hipster Unsure if 20 is Too Many Bracelets

Jason Just-Jason-Guy comes to this unmarked, semi-private club at least four nights a week to hear bands you’ve never heard of interpreting songs you woulnd’t get, but he wonders if he looks right. “I put on some bracelets,” explains Jason,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Local Hipster Unsure if 20 is Too Many Bracelets
Posted in Human Interest

Friend Just Hasn’t Been the Same Since He Won That Free Pepsi

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO—Colorado Springs resident Wayne Gallaway reported earlier today that his friend, Spencer Buckner, has let the fact that Buckner won a free Pepsi from the bottle cap of another Pepsi go completely to his head. “I just don’t…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Friend Just Hasn’t Been the Same Since He Won That Free Pepsi
Posted in Education

School District Hires Adult Film Stars to Teach Sex Ed Classes

(Corry, PA) – In what will be known as one of the most progressive decisions in academic history, the members of the Corry Area School District of Erie County Pennsylvania have voted to allow adult film stars, Raven Gavina and…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! School District Hires Adult Film Stars to Teach Sex Ed Classes
Posted in Health

Aleve Introduces New Product Just for Family Gatherings

MORRISTOWN, NJ—On Tuesday, the makers of popular headache relief medicine Aleve were proud to announce their new product made specifically for family gatherings. “We just asked ourselves, ‘Can’t there be a way to not hate every moment of every holiday…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Aleve Introduces New Product Just for Family Gatherings