Month: June 2013
Libertarians Claim James Gandolfini Killed By CIA
In the wake of The Sopranos star James Gandolfini’s sudden death,libertarians everywhere are saying the actor was assassinated by the Central Intelligence Agency. Just after getting word of the Gandolfini’s tragic passing, the website ronpaulrulz posted the following conspiratorial explanation:
You Are Seriously Racist (comic)
Sometimes, as a white person, you just want to speak your peace. You don’t feel your being racist, and maybe you’re right, though it’s statistically unlikely. Just open your mind and speak your peace and let the cards fall where…
God Apologizes to Florida: Storm Debby Actually Intended for New Orleans
NEW ORLEANS, LA – As Storm Debby battered the state of Florida Monday, His Lordship Almighty God apologized profusely to the Sunshine State, after admitting that the tropical storm – which has caused widespread flooding in Tampa, Tallahassee and Jacksonville…
Windows 8.1 Invites 100k Testers, Discards All Data
Microsoft has undertaken the biggest Operating System test in history by inviting 100,000 users to labs around the world to test their new platfrom. More than 5 million pages of data was collected, all of which were discarded. “It wasn’t…
40th Birthday Completely Disappointing (comic)
Imagine if you threw a war and nobody came? Well that would never happen, since you’d just invade their asses and claim them as your own. But you can throw a 40th birthday and watch it dissolve into nothing but…
Mysterious Explosions Rock Goodsprings
Two days ago, the people of the sleepy town of Goodsprings, who had successfully fought off a group of Powder Gangers only some days before, experienced a series of gas explosions which levelled most of the inhabited buildings. The mysterious…
As if by magic, Google Ads are back on Glossy News
It’s mad strange, defies logic, and is wholly welcome. After a 3-stage denial process, we’ve been reinstated at the literal last possible second. Google has re-instated us as publishers. So our beef is settled, but let me tell you the…
How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? (comic)
It’s the age-old question. Seriously, how many of a particular group does it take to change a light bulb? In my house the answer is somewhere between zero and one. If it’s me doing it, it’s one, if anybody else…
Feds to Renew Hunt For Jimmy Hoffa
After failing to find his body in a field in Oakland Township, MI, federal authorities announced today that they have found several other locations throughout the United States that may be hiding the body of former Teamsters Boss Jimmy Hoffa….
Chubby SouthWest Passenger Buys 2nd Seat, Denied 2nd Meal
Davis “Name withheld” Johnnson, or as we’ll anonymously call him, “Davis” has been a frequent business flier on SouthWest since the internet startup he’s employed with boomed in 2001. Normally he buys two seats and gets two meals. “Hey, if…