Year: 2012
Following Cannibal Attacks, The CDC Issues Zombie Alert
Atlanta, GA – (SatireWorld.com) The world’s leading research and communicable disease control center (CDC) located in Atlanta, Georgia has issued its first ever Zombie Alert, advising US citizens to be prepared and have ample stocks and supplies on hand in…
Jedi Masters Just Ain’t What They Used To Be
Sigh! Jedi Masters just ain’t what they used to be! At one time they were of the caliber of Sir Alec Guiness, the original Obi-Wan Kenobi, a proven hero whose name had the extra fortification of being the same as…
When it Comes to Healthcare, Give Me Liberty and Give Me Death
America is the world leader in most important categories: #1 in nuclear warheads, #1 in citizens incarcerated, and breaking into the top 50 in healthcare. We don’t look to Europe for solutions to our problems because those countries are a…
Leaked Obama War Room Transcript: Baby, I Need Your Lovin’
The following is a rush transcript of a recording leaked to GlossyNews.com by an anonymous administration source who continues to forswear makeup and insists she will not challenge President Obama’s nomination. Our audio experts verify the tape has not been…
SEAL Team 6 Memoir Reveals Photo of Team Member Who Actually Shot Bin Laden
The Pentagon – (SatireWorld.com) History was made today when Cmdr. David Montgomery’s tell all book concerning the successful Navy SEAL Team 6 raid on the Osama Bin Laden compound last year made the NY Times best seller list. According to…
What Does it Mean When an Escort Has a Mitt Romney Special?
A Nevada prostitute has allegedly offered a “Romney Special”, but she hasn’t specified what this might include. We here at Glossy News take politics as seriously as we take prostitution, so we went undercover at several different cathouses to find…
The Long and Thick of It in West Hollywood
A stunned Hollywood is trying to recover today from the shocking news that hit headlines yesterday. As the rest of the world wakes up, the celebrity elite are busy consoling themselves and thanking God it is not them having to…
GOP Eyes Watson the Computer as Front-Runner Candidate for 2012 Election
Last month, the nation was introduced to the world’s smartest computer: the IBM Watson. Watson is an example of the incredible strides made in artificial intelligence (A.I.). With four terabytes of storage capacity, including all of Wikipedia. Watson knows the…
Florida Gov. Rick Scott Steps Down Citing Medical Reasons
TALLAHASSEE — Florida Gov. Rick Scott stepped down today as leader of the Sunshine State after confidential reports surfaced, which we will not share. These private, personal, legally protected documents, which are confidential, prove the governor withheld a 2008 diagnosis…
IRS Admits Culpability in Mitt Romney Tax Return Controversy
Rumors are circulating that the IRS is contemplating an audit of Mitt Romney’s tax returns for the years 2002 to present, a full 10 year’s worth of returns. A spokesperson for the IRS claims that Romney’s staunch refusal to provide…