A Nevada prostitute has allegedly offered a “Romney Special”, but she hasn’t specified what this might include. We here at Glossy News take politics as seriously as we take prostitution, so we went undercover at several different cathouses to find the answer.
The following information was gathered between 7-15 and 7-17, and at a cost of more than $2,800, plus possible future medical costs, as we were required to purchase the service of each escort, even if she had nothing to contribute to the story.
- Throw enough money at her and she’ll change positions.
- For the right amount of money, she’ll do ANYTHING.
- Doing it “doggy style” actually means on the roof of a car.
- She’ll let you sniff her magic underwear… crabs not withstanding.
- He’ll be pro-abortion until it’s too late, and then he’ll be anti-abortion.
- It means that she’s in her 60s, but you’ll swear to everyone you know that she isn’t.
- It means that she’ll give you a dry reach-around with an oven mitt.
- It means that she’ll let you do it with all your wives watching.
- It means you guys can do it together, and for free, but Shel Adelson gets to watch.
- If Rush or the NRA say so, she’ll do a full flop.
- It means she’ll only do oral in another life.
We at Glossy News denounce these findings. They are crass and below our standing, but as serious journalists, we must publish them for your consideration and discussion… What do YOU think a Mitt Romney Special is? What do YOU think of the possibilities we listed above? List your comments below.
Funny and hopefully not true.