Year: 2012
Is GlossyNews Editor Brian K. White Secretly a Moderate?
An ultra-conservative friend of mine recently wrote to me saying that he’s read my stories, but secretly suspects that I might not be as left-leaning as I come across in some of those articles. To him, I said “you’re probably…
Leaked Tax Returns Reveal Romney Barely Scraping by on Food Stamps
WASHINGTON D.C. – In what could prove a decisive blow in the race for the White House, newly released Tax documents have revealed that presumptive Republican presidential nominee Mitt Romney is just barely scraping by on food stamps. Romney’s reluctance…
Traffic Light Nutritional Coding System Given Green Light
A new system of coding fat, sugar and salt content has been approved and would mean that all pre-packed food would have to display a colour coded guide on the front of the package. Red would mean high in fat,…
Obama Thinking A Mohawk Might Help w/ Campaign Donations
Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com) Bobak Ferdowsi, the “Mohawk guy” who worked on NASA’s Mars Curiosity rover landing has a famous new fan. Last week, President Obama said he’s been thinking about emulating him and having his Chicago barber style his…
Mitt Romney Accepts Monkey on Back
Mitt Romney announced today that he will accept the Republican nomination for President wearing a STAPLES logo stitched to his back. “And no, my friends,” Romney joked to the partisan crowd. “The logo won’t actually be stapled to my back….
Crowd Accused of Lifting Mo Farah Over the Finish Line
An appeal has been made to the IOC to strip British runner Mo Farah of his gold medal as accusations of cheating sore higher than the elation of the athlete. Mo Farah became the first British athlete to win a…
GlossyNews.com is Looking for a Photoshop Guru
We need somebody to make clever, funny pictures for our stories. Are you good at Photoshop? Have you participated in contests at Worth1000 or Fark? Then we’re looking for you to help spice up our articles and make them brilliant….
Sources Reveal Mitt Romney’s Past Membership in Gangsta Rap Group
The Washington Post has recently reported details from Governor Mitt Romney’s past that may derail the presumptive Republican candidate’s goal of the White House in the 2012 Presidential Election. Quoting a variety of anonymous sources, the Post has reported that…
Mitt Ryan Picks Paul Romney for VP; and a Political Bromance Blossoms
In one of the most romantic scenes since Gosling kissed McAdams in the rain, former governor Mitt Romney of Massachusetts offered Congressman Paul Ryan of Wisconsin his hand in political matrimony. Not only did Governor Romney offer Ryan a place…