Year: 2012
Boehner and Obama Vow to Fall Off Fiscal Cliff Together
As fiscal cliff negotiations stalled, Republican House Speaker John Boehner and Democratic President Barack Obama romantically declared that they would tumble over the fiscal cliff together “arm in arm”. “I truly love that man”, Boehner said in reference to Obama….
The Fiscal Cliff: Wingnut v. Moonbat Edition
In order to best understand the troubles that face our nation from a balanced left/right perspective, we’ve enlisted liberal Glossy News satirist and editor Brian K. White from the left to talk with conservative columnist and statistician Dean Chambers from…
Michigan Becomes 24th State to Inaugurate ‘Right To Be A Slave’ Law
Michigan has now joined almost half of the country which has introduced legislation that will make it easier for employers to regulate, hire and fire their employees at will. Goosestepping to the current climate which wishes to reduce the power…
Fig Newton Controversy Awaits Trial
LOS ANGELES-Forensic investigators (right) search a house for evidence after a reliable source reported that a middle-aged man allegedly consumed an entire Fig Newton and “actually enjoyed it”. The criminal’s name will be kept private for obvious safety reasons and…
Word ‘Belated’ Now Only Used In Birthday Messages
BLOOMINGTON – It was revealed Monday by linguistic professors at Indiana University that the word “belated” – an adjective whose origins can been traced back to the year 1610 – is now only used in birthday messages. The word, which…
Gunman Breaks Into NRA, Starts Blasting Away With NRA Supported Gun
BREAKING NEWS- A lone gunman stormed the NRA headquarters in Fairfax, Virginia causing bloody mayhem. Managing to gain entrance by flashing his membership card to the guards at the door, the marauder charged in firing indiscriminately in all directions using…
Interview w/ Dean Chambers from UnSkewedPolls.com – Part II
We recently ran an interview with conservative poll smoker Dean Chambers from UnSkewedPolls.com. It quickly became our top article and my offer to post a second part from questions that were not asked was highly requested. So rather than dig…
Unseasonably Warm Weather A Reminder Man Didn’t Recycle Bottles Last Month
INDIANAPOLIS – A recent spate of unseasonably warm weather, which has seen December temperatures peak in the mid sixties, has acted as a timely reminder that local man Dennis Kowalski never got around to recycling those damn bottles last month….
Inventor’s Shirt Changes Color- Why Not a She-Shirt That Turns Invisible?
A Leeds inventor has come up with a t-shirt that changes color according to how much sun there is. It is supposed to warn the wearer about the possibility of getting skin cancer. E.E.C. Investigators quickly smelled a rat, however,…
A.D.A. Gaydar Fingers Fluoridation
CHICAGO – The American Dental Association today announced a reversal of its longstanding position on municipal water fluoridation. For over 65 years, fluoride has been recognized by the ADA as an effective prophylactic in the fight against cavities. But recent…