Gunman Breaks Into NRA, Starts Blasting Away With NRA Supported Gun

BREAKING NEWS- A lone gunman stormed the NRA headquarters in Fairfax, Virginia causing bloody mayhem. Managing to gain entrance by flashing his membership card to the guards at the door, the marauder charged in firing indiscriminately in all directions using a NRA approved assault rifle that the organization has been fighting to be allowed to sell openly.

It is known that a number of people in the office are dead or wounded, having been hit by the sporadic fire from the assailant.

It is believed that the body count is even higher due to the NRA staff all having guns on their body that they have shooting back with, unfortunately often hitting other fellow employees instead of the intended gunman who, like the last couple serial killers has armored himself head to toe in bulletproof material.

Police have arrived at the area, but are unable to approach the building because of the wild fire coming out of it in all directions. More news as we get it.

BREAKING NEWS- A violent explosion has ripped through the NRA headquarters in Fairfax, Virginia where a lone gunman was known to be engaging in a bitter gun battle with the employees that he is apparently attacking. More news as we get it.

BREAKING NEWS- Police have finally been able to enter the NRA headquarters in Fairfax, Virgina where an explosion has ripped apart the front of the building. A half hour before the blast a gunman entered the office and began shooting. It appears that the gunman had an Afghan type suicide explosive attached to his chest that he set off. Police have determined that he was not an Al Queda operative, but rather an American, a solid NRA member, and is in fact an employee at the headquarters. Apparently he was disgruntled by the fact that he was subject to harassment by his co-workers who labeled him a wussy who carried a “girly gun”.

NRA Spokesperson Pate Riot stated “This is not right! No one in America should be allowed to use bombs like the one this man had. They should be outlawed. If everyone had bombs like this there would be mayhem. Innocent people all over the country would be getting killed. It is time our government did something about it!”

Mr. Riot later, after getting a small piece of shrapnel removed from his thigh, came out with a second statement that “This tragic event should not stop people from going out and buying guns.”
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Author’s note- Don’t think this is funny?
I don’t think it is funny that a 20 year old can get access to three semi-automatic weapons and massacre twenty little kids with it. Or that anyone can get access to a machine with that much killing power. Or that a professional organization with massive power and funds would promote for anybody to be able to get them.

Editor’s note- No, I don’t think this is funny.
But I think it’s fair. I’m a gun-owner myself, and I’d still be happy to see a massive crackdown on gun ownership. The problem in this country isn’t too few guns, it’s too many. The 2nd amendment doesn’t say an individual has a right to a gun, it says a well regulated militia should have the right to guns. And no matter what it says, it was written 225 years ago. They were talking about muskets, not high-powered, high-capacity semi-automatic weapons. We don’t put faith in business, medical or other advice from that era, why should we take our cue from it on a literal life and death matter. If there was a gun buy-back in my area, I’d be the first in line. The only reason I still have them is because selling them would only put them in hands less safe than my own.

Author: rfreed

I was born and I died. Being a disembodied entity makes it very cheap for me to get by. Not having to worry about eating or having a place to live gives me a lot of freedom to squander my time writing occasionally funny articles. See more almost funny stuff at http://inyear252509.wordpress.com/

15 thoughts on “Gunman Breaks Into NRA, Starts Blasting Away With NRA Supported Gun

  1. I think NRA people can rationalize anything.
    They would say the Serbians were just beautifying their country when they massacred the Bosnians.

  2. To the editor: So "right of the people" doesn't mean "the people" but the State? Do you want to apply that logic to the rest of the BoR?

    Fortunately, the USSC disagrees with you.

    As for "too many guns", guns don't do you any good in a "gun-free zone", now do they? At least if you're a law-abiding gun owner. If you're a criminal, the gun-free zone doesn't worry you at all.

    I don't think it's funny that the government takes measures to reduce the risks to our children that actually increase those risks. If I was a conspiracy wacko, I might think that was deliberate, it's so incredibly stupid.

    But stupid isn't a rarity.

  3. It would make sense but the schools don’t need one more expense to an already dead budget.
    Plus the NRA refuses to face its own mess and admit that rapid fire, multi bullet rifles in the hands of everybody is not a good idea.
    They refuse to back up on everything. My respect level for them nearing zero.

  4. Actually the concept of police in schools was proposed by Bill Clinton shortly after Columbine. The police that were in Columbine weren’t trained for this type of attack and were basically traffic control and lost bicycle cops. No wonder they ran and hid.
    Don’t forget, the Columbine attack was with assault weapons during the height of the Assault Weapon Ban, so any comfort that similar action would help is redicuous.
    At first I had to think about the NRA propsal but it does make sense. Posting ‘Gun Free Zones’ as we have today only gives a worry-free risk for any pereptrator looking to do evil of any sort in a school. If principals carry guns, or having cops stationed there daily, it would go a long way in making things difficult for anyone thinking about such an act in the future.

  5. Not so Brian and I care to differ…The NRA opposed that law because you neglected to mention the main reason…Yes, locking devices were to be included with each gun, and that was no problem. The ORIGINAL bill called for the supplied lock to be left on the gun at ALL TIMES when not in use rendering quick access in an emergency an impossibility. That’s why the NRA opposed the original bill. Once that language was removed the NRA had no problem with the lock and left it’s final use up to the buyer and they recommended the lock be used if children were in the house.

    The NRA’s Eddie Eagle program is a safety first program designed to educate children about firearm safety. Thousands of schools nationwide have the Eddie Eagle program in place. Childhood accidents with firearms are at an all time low according to FBI stats.
    NRA is also the pre-eminent source where trainers of trainers go to be certified. The Certified NRA Training program dates back over 75 years and has trained hundreds of thousands of police and military instructors.
    On another note..last year over 2.5 million crimes were stopped by armed civilians…FBI Statistics.
    You are more likely to be killed by a perpetrator’s feet and hands than by an assault rifle..In fact almost twice as much…FBI statistics.

    Today I just read an interesting article about the NRA. At 4 million plus members it’s starting to grow again…Over 6,500 people a day are joining since Obama started his gun ban jive. That amount of new members is astounding and beyond anything that the NRA has experienced before…I’m betting 6 million members by years end if this rhetoric keeps up.

  6. Amen, Brian.
    Matt, if the NRA were more balanced I wouldn’t have anything to say about them at all. Right now they are tools of the gun manufacturing industry some of whom are blood sucking trolls however.

  7. Oh Matt, what a great question! I’m sad you didn’t post using the Facebook comments, then you’d actually get to see my response. NO, I do not think YOU are a deathmonger. Absolutely not. You are a member of a hobby club. The NRA, however, has consistently opposed even the most common sense steps along the path to a safer America, like requiring gun dealers to GIVE you a trigger lock with every firearm sold. These things cost like $1 to make and there’s no requirement to use them, but the NRA opposed it, the law didn’t come to pass. The NRA is so aggressive as to earn the term ‘militant’. They don’t care about safety, they don’t care about security, and they don’t care about the Constitution. They care about guns.

  8. I think the NRA should be forced to buy back all these assault rifles and then have them destroyed. They have billions of dollars to give to politicians who in turn allow these death mongers to manufacture and sell them to the general public. This makes our society unsafe and brings catastrophy to so many people and communities in the good old USA. Wether a persons mental health is in great shape today does not guarantee that this will always be the case because sometimes life and circumstances beyond our control can make our mind not so healthy and guns will only make these things worse. It is time to eliminate these weapons from our society or the masacres will only get worse. Please lets this be a great country and no more sensless violence. lets tell the NRA we have had enough of their lies and missinformation.

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