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A.D.A. Gaydar Fingers Fluoridation

A.D.A. Gaydar Fingers Fluoridation

CHICAGO – The American Dental Association today announced a reversal of its longstanding position on municipal water fluoridation. For over 65 years, fluoride has been recognized by the ADA as an effective prophylactic in the fight against cavities.

But recent research may have identified an alarming side effect associated with using such a substance in drinking water systems.

“For decades we have strongly urged municipalities across the country to fluoridate their drinking water,” said ADA spokesperson Carey Dental. “But separate studies in several municipalities have now revealed a dramatic increase in homosexuality when fluoride is being used.”

The ADA published the results of those studies which noted significant homosexual activity in cities using higher levels of fluoride in the water. Chief among those cities were West Hollywood, San Francisco and Key West, Florida.

“We’re, of course, not saying there’s anything wrong with being gay,” said Mr. Dental. “But we think it’s only fair that parents in affected cities be notified of the strong correlation between the level of fluoride in the drinking water and the level of same sex cohabitation and semi-nude parading in certain cities.”

Mr. Dental also noted that, perhaps not surprisingly, the states with the lowest levels of fluoridation are Montana, Idaho and Wyoming.


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Dave Martin's humor and political satire have appeared in many major North American newspapers including The N. Y. Times, The Washington Post and The Chicago Tribune. His latest humor collection is entitled "Screams & Whispers" available on and he blogs at


3 Responses to “A.D.A. Gaydar Fingers Fluoridation”

  1. Brian White says:

    I never understood the opposition to fluoridated water. 100% of the evidence is in support of it. Who whips up these conspiracy theories, and do they really just want to hurt children? It's almost as bad as the anti-vaccination nutjobs.

  2. Never understood? Not a conspiracy at all, it's simple. Flouride is poison.

  3. Brian White says:

    I never understood the conspiracy aspect of it either. It works exactly as promised in preventing tooth decay and has zero harmful effect at the levels administered. Every peer reviewed study shows it is a resounding public good.


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