Year: 2012
How I Successfully Trolled Ali G’s Cousin
A few days ago, for some reason, I was thinking on how to get my revenge on an Autism researcher who knows nothing about his subject and completely eclipses a woman who does, when a really wicked thought came to…
NRA Finds Just the Man for Their Propaganda Ministry
The National Rifle Association, caught like a raccoon in the headlights by the shooting of grade school children, has been awfully quiet since the incident. The shooting puts them in a very negative light since they support the sales of…
Aztecs Slam “Typical Stupid Mayans” When World Fails to End
Many Aztecs throughout North and Central America rejoiced at the stroke of midnight December 22nd, 2012, as the world failed to end, in accordance with Mayan prophecy. “Those stupid [beeping] Mayans. They’re just wrong about everything,” said Miguel Quattel, an…
An Interview With Philip Glass During the Apocalypse
New York – In the refined New York home of Philip Glass, the great American minimalist pianist, we discussed the finer points of symphonic and chamber music over cheese and 10-year old Merlot wine. Q: When you first began playing…
So Long, Farewell, Adieu: The End is Coming and it Will Get You Too
Greetings dear Readers! [EDITOR’S NOTE: Due to the advice of what later turned out to be a con artist, this article was not reviewed for publication prior to the end of days deadline. We had been assured that the world…
Fiscal Cliff Progress: Obama, Boehner Agree 16,375,434,000,001 “a Real Number”
As President Barack Obama and House Majority Leader John Boehner continue “fiscal cliff” negotiations, preliminary reports say that despite the inability of the human brain to conceptualize 16 trillion units of anything, both men have agreed to pretend that’s how…
Life on the Inside: My Week in a Mental Hospital
As a contributor to the second-longest running group satire site in the world, I’m always looking for a scoop. So when I had a chance to enter a mental health hospital as a patient recently, I couldn’t pass it up….
Multimillionaire McAfee Mucks Up Murder Mystery In Middle America
McAfee, is one of the world’s most used internet security websites. It is used to protect the computer user from computer viruses and other threats that can attack his machine while he is online. Also now famous is the web…
Who Wore It Best? Apocalypse Edition
MINNEAPOLIS-With the world as we know it coming to a close, it is no surprise that the public eye is turning toward celebrities, scrutinizing their every move amid all of the chaos. Of course, just like poor people, celebrities are…
Conservative/Liberal Brawl: Now Is(n’t) the Time for Gun Control
A liberal and a conservative walk into a bar. The bartender’s like, “what is this, a joke?” Actually it’s quite serious, and it covers a grave topic. Conservative columnist and pollster Dean Chambers agreed to talk with liberal news man…