Month: November 2012
Indianapolis Mayor Thinks A Bunch of Really Tall Skyscrapers Would Be Pretty Neat
INDIANAPOLIS – Peering philosophically out of his city-council building office window Monday, Mayor of Indianapolis Greg Ballard thinks that a whole bunch of “really freaking tall” skyscrapers would be pretty neat right about now. Even though his office remains devoid…
Republicans Religious Epiphany After Election “God Wants Us to be Bi-Partisan”
Republicans have been almost unanimous in quoting that a Divine inspiration has descended upon them. Apparently this heavenly apparition was bestowed upon their golden leader, John Boehner. Mr. Boehner, his eyes glowing with enlightened envisionment, has come forth upon his…
Snow Storm ‘Set to Bury Hundreds of Other News Stories’
INDIANAPOLIS – Heavy snow fall is expected to batter much of the Midwest Thursday, spawning fears that it may wipe out hundreds of “otherwise highly relevant news stories.” Production teams are on standby in news rooms across the state of…
UN Ponders Cloning Extinct Wooly Mammoths as New Global Food Source
United Nations- New York City – (SatireWorld.com) The United Nations Special Committee on Global Nutrition has partnered with Nickoli Butechefski, a noted Russian genome theorist, in developing a strain of DNA to be used in cloning an extinct species for…
The Constitution Of Uzupis – The Free-est Place In the World
The following is the actual Constitution of Uzupis, a part of the City of Vilnius, Lithuania that has declared independence from Vilnius, from Lithuania and apparently from the entire world in 1997. An artist conclave, they have their own elected…
Hurricane Sandy Was God’s Attempt To Hang In With Occupy Folks
Intrepid Reuters news reporters have uncovered that the immense Hurricane Sandy, so huge that it was dubbed ‘The Perfect Storm’, was actually a fabricated event. It appears that God created the mega storm for what to our eyes was a…
Republicans Wish Democrats Would Stop Smiling
WASHINGTON – With the 2012 U.S. election now nearly a week old, Republican politicians are beginning to wonder how long it will take for their Democratic rivals to wipe the shit-eating grins off their faces and return to normal. “It…
A Date w/ Petraeus: You’re either “All In or All Out”
Paula Broadwell and Rielle Hunter will be starting an exclusive club calling it “Groucars”. The name is a portmanteau of Groupie and Cougar. Membership is restricted to women in their 40’s with a hankering for older guys holding high governmental…
Chiropractor’s License Yanked Over ‘Intravaginal Massage’ Allegations
Jasper, GA – (SatireWorld.com) – A Georgia chiropractor is accused of sexually violating three female patients by using a controversial medical procedure he calls ‘Intravaginal massage.’ The Georgia State Medical Board says there is no recognized procedure anywhere on their…
Nation Subjects Obama to Another 4 Years
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a tight election contest, President Obama was officially subjected to another 4 years in office by a sadistic American electorate Tuesday. Mr. Obama, who has endured relentless and regularly unfounded attacks from the Republican Party in…