Month: September 2012
Paralympians Are People Too
Thanks to the Paralympics, disabled people are now being viewed as actual people, according to the worldwide media. In hopes to change attitudes towards those with disabilities, the IOC, the International Olympic Committee, have decided to hold the Paralympics in…
German Truffles Snuff Out Syrian Conflict
Assad’s chocolate-covered Eurotrip ends in his capture The Syrian conflict ended yesterday after the president of Syria, Bashar al-Assad, and his wife, Amir al-Assad, were captured last week in the small German town of Steinheim.
NASA Discovers They Left an Astronaut Behind on the Moon After Historic First Landing
Ironically coincidental with the demise of the man who first walked on the moon, NASA has discovered that it had forgotten an astronaut on the moon. In fact, it appears that he was left at the time of Apollo 11’s…
The Kindness of Banks Thanks to Soul Modification
A dear friend of mine, Penin Diaz, sent me this distressing report that I felt compelled to share with you. – Barb Weir Our family is going through hard times, and we’re trying to cut expenses, so I asked my…
Navy SEALS Book: Bin Laden Had Nude Pictures of Pippa Middleton on his Computer
Islamisbad, Pakistan – (SatireWorld.com) Computer experts have being pouring over the treasure trove of intelligence data taken from the Osama Bin Laden compound raid in Pakistan last year. Recent data downloaded from the hard drives and thumb drives show extensive…
M Night Shyamalan’s Children in Tears After Big Twist ‘Resolves’ Bedtime Story
M Night Shyamalan’s daughters were being comforted today after being “cheated” by the last installment of their father’s bedtime story. The two girls are refusing to speak to the Hollywood director after he tied up the many plot contradictions by…
Corporations Broker Historic Repub/Dem Compromise to Boost U.S. Economy
As unlikely as it may seem in the throes of an increasingly vicious national election, U.S. Republicans and Democrats appear to be in agreement on providing a major stimulant to the economy – the elections themselves. Now that corporations are…
In Desperate Bid For Reelection, White House Reveals Secret Beer Recipe
President Obama, in a desperate bid to gain the following of on-the-fence Independent and Republican beer drinkers, has revealed the secret recipe for White House Honey Brown Ale. Throughout the past three years the White House has been manufacturing the…
Clint Eastwood Speaks at RNC, Warns Hurricane Isaac to ‘Get off my Lawn.’
Tampa- In a phenomenon that has left meteorologists stunned and searching for answers, Hurricane Isaac has unexpectedly retreated back into the Gulf of Mexico and petered out into a solitary storm cloud. The storm’s demise coincided with Clint Eastwood’s arrival…
Democratic National Convention to Premiere Joe Biden Reality TV Show
Charlotte, North Carolina – A week before the Democratic National Convention is scheduled to start, leaked sources indicated that the convention will feature a premiere of Joe Biden’s new reality TV show, Joe the Vice President. It aims to be…