Islamisbad, Pakistan – (SatireWorld.com)
Computer experts have being pouring over the treasure trove of intelligence data taken from the Osama Bin Laden compound raid in Pakistan last year.
Recent data downloaded from the hard drives and thumb drives show extensive pornographic material, again proving the al Qeada leader was a dirty old man as well as a homicidal maniac.
Photo insert: There was an extensive collection of ‘Saudi Girls Gone Wild’ videos on Osama’s secret thumb drive.
“We downloaded all kinds of porno. Men with men. Men with women. Men with sheep, cows, giraffes, and camels! Men with their AK-47s.” Claims CIA analyst Ben V.
Perhaps the most telling download was a complete nude sequence of royal in-law, Pippa Middleton, foretelling the distraction the al Qeada leader had just days before his head was ventilated by a US Navy SEAL team. The CIA says the photo montage was probably taken through an open window by an al Qeada operative working in London. The CIA refused to go into detail about when the photos might have been taken.
It was long surmised that Bin Laden had a dirty mind and would frequently give subordinates ‘sheep passes’ in lieu of compensation. The Sheik was reported to have a special herd in the nearby mountains for his followers tended by an American turned al Qeada shepherd, whom intelligence officials simply named ‘Brian.’
Also revealed was a thumb drive containing hundreds of SatireWorld articles. Analysts believe Bin Laden found the stories a primary source of intelligence which he used to gauge American resolve in waging a steadfast fight against terrorism. Oddly, all SatireWorld articles that showed exposed female breasts were circled in red ink.
Several articles also had handwritten notes in Arabic which translated into …’this cracks me up’…’this part kills me’…’funny infidel.’
Pippa Middleton was notified by officials and her personal photos were returned.