Clint Eastwood Speaks at RNC, Warns Hurricane Isaac to ‘Get off my Lawn.’

Tampa- In a phenomenon that has left meteorologists stunned and searching for answers, Hurricane Isaac has unexpectedly retreated back into the Gulf of Mexico and petered out into a solitary storm cloud.

The storm’s demise coincided with Clint Eastwood’s arrival in Tampa, FL for the 2012 Republican National Convention, causing many of the actor’s fans to flock to the internet, attributing the legendary actor’s presence to Hurricane Isaac’s sudden end.

An unnamed source claims that Eastwood was spotted on a Tampa beach prior to his speech at the RNC, glaring out toward the water while brandishing nothing but a threatening scowl, cigar clinched in teeth, and right hand cocked like a gun.

Known for his portrayal of gruff, tough-guy characters over the course of a storied Hollywood career, Eastwood, now 82, still maintains his famous persona.

Experts, however, are unconvinced. James Smithers, a climate scientist and professor at the University of Florida, has dismissed the Eastwood theory. “The eye of the storm was hundreds of miles away from Tampa by the time of Eastwood’s arrival, and his scowl is only effective up to an estimated 300 yards. Besides, have you seen the guy lately? He’s like 90. The only thing that should be frightened of him these days is his health insurance provider.”

Smithers further went on to explain that additional testing and examination will be needed to determine the actual cause of Hurricane Isaac’s demise.

Author: Dan H.

I write because I drink, I drink because I write...and happen to really like a well-made Old Fashioned. Also because I'm bored.

3 thoughts on “Clint Eastwood Speaks at RNC, Warns Hurricane Isaac to ‘Get off my Lawn.’

  1. Clint probably believes this, so maybe that’s why he was talking to an empty chair. Note to Clint: love ya in movies but never try to ad lib comedy. Ever. Just like an intense low pressure system, it sucked.

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