Posted in Human Interest

Local Woman Saves Planet by Allowing Satan to Dwell in Her Abscessed Tooth

“The pain, Thweet Jethuth the pain,” yelled Cloris Zucker as the dentist poked around in her mouth trying to find the source of her discomfort….

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Posted in Human Interest Internets Tubes

Humor Blog Owes Success to Worldwide Spammers

ROCKY MOUNT, NC – A 37-year old unemployed factory worker turned humor blogger is reportedly thrilled by recent praise his previously unknown humor blog has…

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Posted in Top Stories

Colorado Cantaloupe Caper Puts Serious Damper on Seniors’ Travels

NEW YORK CITY —GLOSSYNEWS The AARP has publicly called for the immediate, complete and total eradication of cantaloupe farming in Colorado. The state has now…

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Posted in Human Interest

Sociologists Claim Geniuses Will Take Over World by 2040

Psychologists have recently discovered a disturbing strain of statistically abnormal humans living among us. Allegedly, these genetic mutants have advanced intelligence with I.Q.’s towering as…

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Posted in Human Interest

Behavioral Therapy Teaches Polite Driver How to Be an Asshole

Paul Franklin is known to be a very nice and generous driver, but he recently confessed to friends that the reason he lets everyone go…

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Posted in Crime Human Interest

Gang of 70-Year Olds on Mobility Scooters Terrorizing Orlando Tourists

The streets of some of Orlando’s most popular tourist destinations are being randomly terrorized by a gang of septuagenarians on mobility scooters. The gang, calling…

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Posted in Politics

Why Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann Could Never Be Democrats

Really I don’t understand why so many Liberals I have lots of admiration for get kinda ‘mouth foamy’ at the mention of Sarah Palin or…

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Posted in News In Your Briefs

GlossyNews Launches Hostile Takeover of The Onion

Around 3:00AM this morning, editors and contributors of GlossyNews snuck into The Onion’s corporate office. Armed with biting words and keen wit they successfully carried…

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Posted in Politics

Paul Ryan Attacked by Pack of Angry Lemurs

Paul Ryan is back home in Wisconsin and resting comfortably after suffering an attack by a pack of angry lemurs at a Southwest Florida elementary…

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Posted in News In Your Briefs

Anderson Cooper Gives In and Asks Kathy Griffin on a Real Date

Friends of both Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper were elated when told that Cooper has finally given in to Griffin’s amorous advances and agreed to…

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