Posted in Human Interest

Local Woman Saves Planet by Allowing Satan to Dwell in Her Abscessed Tooth

“The pain, Thweet Jethuth the pain,” yelled Cloris Zucker as the dentist poked around in her mouth trying to find the source of her discomfort. He started out innocently enough, beginning on the left side and working his way over…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Local Woman Saves Planet by Allowing Satan to Dwell in Her Abscessed Tooth
Posted in Human Interest Internets Tubes

Humor Blog Owes Success to Worldwide Spammers

ROCKY MOUNT, NC – A 37-year old unemployed factory worker turned humor blogger is reportedly thrilled by recent praise his previously unknown humor blog has received. Avowed bachelor and longtime fan of Wheel of Fortune, Buford Quigley told reporters today…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Humor Blog Owes Success to Worldwide Spammers
Posted in Top Stories

Colorado Cantaloupe Caper Puts Serious Damper on Seniors’ Travels

NEW YORK CITY —GLOSSYNEWS The AARP has publicly called for the immediate, complete and total eradication of cantaloupe farming in Colorado. The state has now admitted to officials that it shipped tens, if not hundreds of thousands of the mountainous,…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Colorado Cantaloupe Caper Puts Serious Damper on Seniors’ Travels
Posted in Human Interest

Sociologists Claim Geniuses Will Take Over World by 2040

Psychologists have recently discovered a disturbing strain of statistically abnormal humans living among us. Allegedly, these genetic mutants have advanced intelligence with I.Q.’s towering as much as 80 points above the rest of us normal people. They have been tentatively…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Sociologists Claim Geniuses Will Take Over World by 2040
Posted in Human Interest

Behavioral Therapy Teaches Polite Driver How to Be an Asshole

Paul Franklin is known to be a very nice and generous driver, but he recently confessed to friends that the reason he lets everyone go is because he has nowhere to be. “I used to think I was a nice…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Behavioral Therapy Teaches Polite Driver How to Be an Asshole
Posted in Crime Human Interest

Gang of 70-Year Olds on Mobility Scooters Terrorizing Orlando Tourists

The streets of some of Orlando’s most popular tourist destinations are being randomly terrorized by a gang of septuagenarians on mobility scooters. The gang, calling itself the 7 T’s, has so far escaped the law by ducking into restaurants during…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Gang of 70-Year Olds on Mobility Scooters Terrorizing Orlando Tourists
Posted in Politics

Why Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann Could Never Be Democrats

Really I don’t understand why so many Liberals I have lots of admiration for get kinda ‘mouth foamy’ at the mention of Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann. My liberal friends seem to genuinely despise those two women. Myself, I don’t…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Why Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann Could Never Be Democrats
Posted in News In Your Briefs

GlossyNews Launches Hostile Takeover of The Onion

Around 3:00AM this morning, editors and contributors of GlossyNews snuck into The Onion’s corporate office. Armed with biting words and keen wit they successfully carried out a hostile takeover. As of this morning, all news originating from TheOnion’s website and…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! GlossyNews Launches Hostile Takeover of The Onion
Posted in Politics

Paul Ryan Attacked by Pack of Angry Lemurs

Paul Ryan is back home in Wisconsin and resting comfortably after suffering an attack by a pack of angry lemurs at a Southwest Florida elementary school where Ryan was speaking last Friday. “He’s got a few nasty scratches,” said Ryan’s…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Paul Ryan Attacked by Pack of Angry Lemurs
Posted in News In Your Briefs

Anderson Cooper Gives In and Asks Kathy Griffin on a Real Date

Friends of both Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper were elated when told that Cooper has finally given in to Griffin’s amorous advances and agreed to take her on a date. “It was the next logical step,” claims Mitzi Moloney, one…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Anderson Cooper Gives In and Asks Kathy Griffin on a Real Date