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Why Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann Could Never Be Democrats

Why Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann Could Never Be Democrats

Really I don’t understand why so many Liberals I have lots of admiration for get kinda ‘mouth foamy’ at the mention of Sarah Palin or Michelle Bachmann. My liberal friends seem to genuinely despise those two women. Myself, I don’t really hate anybody. Except for the guy who did that ‘Pina Colada” song; he should be water boarded.

Well, I have done extensive research on this vexing topic, in the fine tradition of the NY Time’s Jayson Blair. So, here’s what I made up.

There’s little doubt that either Ms. Palin or Ms. Bachmann would be rock stars in the Democratic Party. Imagine Sarah Palin in an alternate universe where she’s a Democrat and Mr. Spock has a goatee. Palin would speak at the 2012 Democratic Party Convention and say something like, “With regard to my treasured son Trig, Todd & I knew beforehand that Trig would be mentally challenged, but we chose to bring him into the world anyway, and encourage all parents to make a similar choice. But I will fight for every woman’s right to make reproductive choices without government interference!”

Standing ovation, there’s your 2016 Dem nomination front runner right there. Same narrative could be constructed for Michelle Bachmann to shoot her to stardom as a Democrat as well. She and husband have foster parented something like 1800 kids, right? You should see those little urchins’ handmade leather wallets. The stitching is superb.

So what are the headwaters of all the eager vilification of two women who’ve certainly accomplished a lot? Maybe it’s because Palin and Bachmann are taken for traitors to Feminism.

Big ‘F’ Feminism is seen by many on the Left as a great start from the 1960’s but a never ending crusade for truth, justice, and the American way. You know what that means; more work for attorneys.

Neither Palin nor Bachmann seem ready to acknowledge that efforts of Democrats probably helped them get where they are. What’s worse to the Left is both women seem to suggest the struggle for women’s rights is pretty much complete. Such wild talk leaves some attorneys without briefs.

Is there not one cultural issue in this country that can ever be settled, short of massive bloodletting? Why can’t Palin or Bachmann be taken on in the realm of ideas? Why can’t President Obama be taken on in the realm of ideas? How many boogey-person piñatas are required for the Left and Right to flail at with Louisville sluggers until our arms get tired?


This post was written by

- who has written 149 posts on

I write gags for Glossy News when an idea pops into my pumpkin sized head. Don't make a big deal out of it, OK? I contribute to my local food pantry and you should too.


13 Responses to “Why Sarah Palin and Michele Bachmann Could Never Be Democrats”

  1. irene herz says:

    Sarah Palin could never be a Democratic nominee because she is widely recognized to be ignorant and ill informed about public matters. Unlike the Tea Party, the Democratic Party consists of people who know that Darwin was right, that global warming is real, and who can name a newspaper they read every day!

  2. BobZaguy says:

    L-T, this is you most funny comment: “wild talk leaves some attorneys without briefs.”
    And then this one should follow it: “You know what that means; more work for attorneys.”

    Bachmann and Paylin as Dems, meh.

  3. rfreed says:

    Why do people hate the Pina-Colada song?

  4. BobZaguy says:

    rf, if you hum a few bars, I will tell you why.

  5. P. Beckert says:

    Wait. It’s all becoming so clear now. That’s the song you copy when you’re posting personal ads isn’t RF? The pieces are finally falling into place.

  6. rfreed says:

    Hum, hummmmmmm, hummmmm, hummmmmmmmmmmm!
    Hum, hum, hummmmmmmm, hummmmmmmmmmm!

  7. BobZaguy says:

    Aha! Just what I thought!
    “Hum, hummmmmmm, hummmmm, hummmmmmmmmmmm!
    Hum, hum, hummmmmmmm, hummmmmmmmmmm!”

    These lyrics are self-evident. Repetitious, incessant one-trick-pony internal rhyming scheme. Total lack of ingenuity. Over use of the (!). Thoughtless sentence structure as well. Looped so the end sounds like the beginning–a grade school music experience.

  8. I really didn’t know this was getting published! Thought I deleted it, as wasn’t subtle enuf in my judgement.

    Irene Herz, I certainly love her certainty that all Dems are good looking and above average IQ. I too would wish such a thing, but facts are inconvenient bastards.

  9. P. Beckert says:

    L-T – Sh*t happens. Things get published sometimes whether you want ’em to or not. Got any others in the trash bin you’d like to share? You know you have fans when even your deletions are good enough for print. Oh crap, there I go again brown nosing. I think I see RFreed just around the corner.

  10. rfreed says:

    Oh Sarah baby!
    Come to me honey!
    I’ll make you forget all about the Presidency!

    Michelle, my lovely one! Give yourself over to me and I’ll give you the satisfaction that your gay husband never could!

    Beckert! You brown nosed pinko!

  11. P. Beckert says:

    Nice Freed. Get a room.

  12. rfreed says:

    I got a room already.
    The trouble is I’m the only one in it.

  13. P. Beckert says:

    And you wonder why?


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