Month: April 2011
GOP Considers Rebranding as “Social Tea Party”
Des Moines, IA —GLOSSY NEWS With 2011 barely into its 4th month, House Tea Party Caucus leader Michele Bachmann whipped her Iowa audience into a frenzy over light bulbs, gay marriage and abortion with her stump “Social Conservatism is Physical…
Russian Spy Ring Busted-Up in Nudist Camp
Venice, Fla – GlossyNews.com – Where the Sun Don’t Shine Nudist Camp in Venice, Fla was the scene of a recent major FBI raid as agents, posing as nudist camp members, sprang a trap on a dozen alleged Russian spies…
Britain Stretched To Breaking Point, Satirists Leaving in Droves
British PM David Cameron today admitted that “in the clearest possible terms” Britain is currently stretched to breaking point. Military involvement in Iraq, Afghanistan, and now Libya have undoubtedly taken a heavy toll on available resources, and the financial squeeze…
Wonki-Leak #264: FOX News E-mail Instructs Interns on ‘Doctoring’ the Truth
WONKI-LEAKS #264 Our team of ever intrepid hackers have recently managed to intercept the following instructions being given to new FOX interns via e-mail as they help the massive television and radio giant prepare the scripted material for their pundits…
CIA Secret Operation “Xbox 360 Fever” Underway to Topple Taliban
The CIA is mum on a new secret operation designed to take the Taliban out once and for all. The concept of Operation “Xbox 360 Fever” is based on this country’s own experience with realistic computer games. “It is mainly…
Real Patriots Versus Pretentious Patriots
The term traitor has taken on new connotations in recent years. Once meant to determine someone who has with serious and direct intent caused damage to a nation or its inhabitants; the recent mutation of its meaning is to indicate…
Don’t Blame the Rich, It’s a Generational Thing
Just as the rich say that breaking the cycle of poverty is a never-ending battle because it is self-perpetuating, some are now using that same logic to try and explain the unmitigated greed that is threatening to tear apart entire…
Mafia Gangster Admits to Sex Change, Not for Disguise
New York. – GlossyNews.com – Vinnie Gelano (“Big Jelly”) always knew he was really a girl. “Even when I was collecting from deadbeats out on the street, breaking bones, whatever, I always knew I had this soft spot inside, a…
Last-Minute Budget Deal; Here are the Cuts
John Boner [sic] made a last-minute deal with Harry Reid to keep the country running on a day-to-day basis. Though the Tea Party feels the cuts weren’t deep enough, others feel the democratic concessions went too far. Here are some…
Lady Liberty Loses Innocence to Greedy Suitors
It was a heinous act; too vile and too great for our minds to even truly comprehend. Lady Liberty, our much beloved symbol of America, was assaulted and callously violated today in an attack that has left the nation breathless…