Month: March 2010
Book Excerpt – Chicken Butt; The Story of a Man (3 of 4)
(Book Excerpt) As I’ve mentioned many a time before, Chicken Butt, though he was a chicken, wasn’t an ordinary chicken. When he was entering adolescence he heard many ideas of what it meant to be a man, and, as most of us know, most of them revolve around sex.
Subsidi-Farm Granted USDA Contract to Develop Seedless Pot
Washington, D.C. – In what was hailed as a “good news, bad news” story today out of Washington, Subsidi-Farm, one of the nation’s largest agricultural companies, has been granted a federal contract to develop seedless, irradiated pot, which, among other…
Same-Sex Marriage Now Legal in Washington, DC
Half of Congress already reported to have applied for licenses.
Chileans Worried They Won’t Get as Much Attention as Haiti
“In the news, they said the quake might have moved the earth a bit form its axis thus affecting the length of day. I hate it when that happens,” said a Chilean beach goer.
Dispute Over Persian Gulf Naming Rights Leads to Name Calling
TEHRAN, Iran (GlossyNews) — Airlines refusing to call the waterway between Iran and the Arabian peninsula the ‘Persian Gulf’ will be banned from Iranian airspace, the transport minister told local media. The warning was directed toward air carriers in neighboring…
CNN President Throws Tantrum After Wasting Millions on Bogus Tsunami Coverage
HILO, HI (GlossyNews) — When civil defense sirens roused Hawaiians from sleep on Saturday morning, the threat of a potentially destructive tsunami was on its way. In an impressive response, Hawaii’s scientists, government officials, first-responders and citizens showed exemplary calm…
McCain’s Centerfold Will Pistol Whip the Competition
PHOENIX, AZ — Former Faux-Con presidential candidate and current Senator John McCain is running scared in his home state these days against a teabagger-type radio talkshow host who boasts of his plans to put Senator McCain down! “Nothin’ doin’! This…
Succession and Secession Causing Palin Major Confusion
HOUSTON, TX — Sarah Palin, speaking a few weeks ago at a rally for Rick Perry, referred to news about Texans wanting to secede from the union by saying, “They got that wrong. Texas today, I don’t think they’re seceding,…
Dejected Dubya Shunned and Defriended by Former Cabinet
CRAWFORD, TX (GlossyNews) — Family members say former U.S. President George W. Bush, now bereft of around-the-clock advisors, is having trouble coping with retirement. According to insiders, without his daily briefings Bush is often stumped by life in the real…
Did SeaWorld Trainer Dawn Brancheau Commit Suicide?
ORLANDO, FL – As SeaWorld prepares to reintroduce its “Dancing with Killer Whales” program this weekend, rumors have begun rising, like tiny bubbles of blood to the surface of the water, regarding the mind set of orca trainer Dawn Brancheau,…