Succession and Secession Causing Palin Major Confusion

HOUSTON, TX — Sarah Palin, speaking a few weeks ago at a rally for Rick Perry, referred to news about Texans wanting to secede from the union by saying, “They got that wrong. Texas today, I don’t think they’re seceding, they are succeeding.”

Upon hearing this, Debra Medina, the Tea Party candidate for Governor of Texas, called Palin to offer her services as a mentor on the differences between succession and secession, both terms being bandied about lately by the Tea Party movement and obviously causing Palin some confusion.

In addition, Medina wanted to set Sarah straight on her (Medina’s) plans for Texas to avoid secession by instead restoring sovereignty, a concept that may be foreign to Palin. We can only wonder how the lessons are going:

Deb: Ok, Sarah, here’s the first word. Succession, with two “c’s” and two “esses.”

Sarah: Oh, you mean like in success in running for office.

Deb: Well, sure, it could mean that, but we’re talking about another success: success-shun.

Sarah: I hate to tell ya, Deb, but I’m not one to run from success.

Deb: Sarah, please, dear, focus. Now, for purposes of our lesson, the use of the word succession is improper. Nevertheless, lots of people in the Tea Party movement are using it to describe their desire to secede from the union, much like the idea you and Todd toyed with in Alaska. In actuality, the correct word is Secession, with an “e” not a “u.”

Sarah: What do you mean, Deb, I can’t be a part of it?

Deb: What?

Sarah: You said with an “e” but not a “you.”

Deb: Oh for heaven’s sake, Sarah, I said “u” not “you.”

Sarah: Well, if not me, then who?

Deb: Forget succession. It doesn’t matter anyway. Let’s talk about secession.

Sarah: I had those with all my kids.

Deb: What?

Sarah: C-Sections, way better than natural childbirth, I can tell ya that.

Deb: You have got to be kidding me.

Sarah: Do you mean “u” or “you” as in me?

[Deb gets up to leave.]

Sarah: Wait, Deb, where are you going? Aren’t we going to discuss your wanting to become Queen of Texas?

Deb (over her shoulder): What?

Sarah: Sovereignty. You said you were also going to give me a lesson on sovereignty.

Author: P. Beckert

P. Beckert's is one voice vying for frequency room at the top of the opinion dial. Angered and bewildered by many of today’s events, P. Beckert uses humor as a tool to fight against an onslaught of stupidity and ignorance that seems to permeate the airwaves and pollute the sensitivities of a once brilliant nation. You can find more at