Month: March 2010
Yuppie Sprawl Threatens Prisitine American Communities
CHARLOTTE, NC (GlossyNews) — Sociologists have discovered a slow infestation that they believe is eating away at the American heartlands. “Yuppie Sprawl,” as it has been termed, is a corrosive and invasive social blight that now threatens the infrastructure of…
Sarah Palin and Entourage Spotted Stocking Up at the Oscars
Hollywoodland Early reports out of Los Angeles have Sarah Palin mit entourage stocking up on luxury items at the pre-Oscars Gifting Suite hosted by Silver Spoon; however a Silver Spoon spokesperson says she was gracious and kind while she was…
The Smiths Reunite After 23 Years for New Album
LONDON, UK (GlossyNews) — Alternative music pioneers Morrissey and Johnny Marr, co-founders of The Smiths, have announced the long-awaited reunion of the band. The Smiths were an English rock group formed in Manchester in 1982, driven by the songwriting partnership…
California Professors Compare 4% Pay Cut to Holocaust
Berkley, CA (BNSE) — California college professors and students took to the streets again today to protest Governor Schwarzenegger’s stark austerity plans to bring the deficit burdened California state budget back in line. Chief among their complaints are designated cut…
Child Labor Ring Uncovered at JFK Airport
Queens, NY (GlossyNews) — One of the nation’s largest airports, JKF International, is being shut down temporarily while the FAA investigates allegations of an underground child labor ring being run through the New York location. This comes less than a…
The Picasso: Brutal Body Art Technique Gains Popularity in Prisons
CHINO, CA (GlossyNews) — It’s difficult to trace the origins of tattoos and similar body art — which Western societies often regard as a form of mutilation — primarily because tattoos transcend culture and geography. Tattooing has been a practice…
Blues Legend “Deaf Willie” Johnson Dies
HAZLEHURST, MS (GlossyNews) — Sources close to GlossyNews confirm that today one of the most influential voices in Delta Blues has gone to heaven. Or so we hope. The oldest child of sharecroppers Sam and Thelma Johnson, “Deaf Willie” never…
French Destroyer Surrenders to Somali Pirates
Paris (GlossyNews) — The French Ministry of Defense this morning announced that a French Navy destroyer, the FS Ouragan (Hurricane), surrendered to Somali pirates after a small outboard motor powered speed boat came alongside and fired a pistol towards the…
Tiger Woods Dropped By Gatorade – Threatens To Leave U.S.
BARRINGTON, IL (GlossyNews) –Tiger Woods has threatened to leave the United States if Gatorade’s decision makers do not bend over backward, swallow their pride and reinstate their sponsorship. Sources close to Woods confirmed that the troubled golfer will leave the…
Old Man Potter Saves Bedford Falls from Subprime Lender, Bailey
BEDFORD FALLS, IN (GlossyNews) — Five more financial institutions were closed this week by federal regulators, bringing the total number of U.S. failed banks this year to 140, the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation said. OneWest Bank was the first casualty…