Month: January 2010
US Revokes Citizenship of Corrupt CEOs… not really
The United States Government has started a unique new policy of retracting the citizenship of Corporate CEO’s and executives who believe they are above the law of the country. This has made an entire upper echelon of American business essentially…
Satirist Finds Fame by Hiding Numerical Code in Works
A satirist has amassed a large following after John Halpern from Okracoke Island, NC won over $1.3 million in the state lottery by cracking the numerical code hidden in an article written by Dominic Benjamin entitled “Octomoms Claim Numbers Don’t…
Fox News Searches For the New ‘Rwanda Effect’ Effect
Fox News, in its never ending search for more fuel to stoke its listener’s fires, has hired a crack team of psychologists, sociologists, media gurus and general psychopaths to help them find and exploit the ‘Rwanda Effect’. The Rwanda Effect…
Wall Street Builds Bunkers for Bankers with Blinkers
Supreme Court Ruling Says Bailout Money Can Buy Political Ads
The major television stations, i.e. Fox, CBS, NBC and ABC have all announced plans to drastically cut regular programming beginning in July of this year in order to make room for the onslaught of corporate-backed political advertising set to gain…
Schools Expand Zero Tolerance Policies to Include “Lack of Spirit”
Framingham, MS (GlossyNews) — Prominent public education leaders from across the nation called for an across the board expansion in Zero Tolerance policies in public schools today after a two week symposium. The leaders found the mandatory expulsion and suspension…
Avatar Breaks All-Time Gross Record
But still only covers 1% of the cost of the war on terror, assuming you back out the costs of TSA and other international – arguably needless and ineffective – counter-terror measures. After backing out those costs, the $3.6 billion…
Detroit Dismantled And Moved To Chicago
What is left of the city of Detroit was dismantled and shipped to Illinois this week. The Motor City, long beset by declines in the automotive industry and general economy, has given up the ghost as a separate city entity…
Advice on Sex Change Exchange Between Father and Daughter
Note from Hank: Before we get to today’s column, I just want to give a shout out to all the kind folks who have written asking questions. I’m limited in what I can respond to because I only do my…
Health Alert: Defective, Dangerous, “Suspiciously Snug” Chinese Condoms Recalled
After reading this story, there will be true dilemmas playing out all over America–in bedrooms, on living room couches, in the back seat of daddy’s sedan or Tiger Woods’ Escalade—do I or don’t I take a chance with that pack…