Month: December 2009
Boehner and Bobdole Reveal 13-year Marriage
Washington DC —EBBQ Today the offices of John Boehner (Bay-ner) (R–OH) revealed that Senator Boehner and former Senator Bobdole (R–KS ret.) have maintained a secret same-sex marriage for the past 13 years. “In fact,” a Bobdole spokesperson said, “Bobdole did…
Timedate 2011: Recession Ends, But The Workers Died Long Ago
Economists the world over have stated the news that everyone has been waiting for- that the long, draining recession has finally come to an end and that businesses will start hiring again. Unfortunately, the good news came to a screeching…
Wall Street Declares Itself An Independent Nation
Wall Street, in a surprising move today, declared itself a separate governing republic and detached from the US. Always considered a bulwark of staunch capitalism, the recent bailout has changed the economic thinking of it’s leaders. Upon succession Wall Str….
Blonde on Blonde Caught on Tape
Mega-lawyer Elle Woods of Legally Blonde and spurned woman Elin Nordregan Woods are reputed to have held a tete-a-tete behind closed doors at Bloomingdale’s in Orlando recently. A TMZ reporter claims he taped the following conversation between the two women…
Glossy News Denies Black President Hoax
Toronto – A spokesperson for the Glossy News in Toronto this morning denied allegations that the Seattle-based news service fabricated the now famous story that a black man had won the US Presidential Race in 2008. The Toronto Sun Times…
In Rio de Janeiro, Buy Guns, Get Free Homes
A Brazilian gun dealer has offered to give a free home to the first five customers of the New Year if they buy any quality rifle from his gun shop. Jose Arma de Fogo says he got the idea from…
America Citizens Revolt: Dismantle Executives
Detroit, MI (GlossyNews) — The citizens of the United States today in a mass movement became the largest bank in the world. Strapped with the responsibility of saving huge financial institutions from insolvency and the auto industry as well as…
25yr Coma Man Wakes, Stunned to Learn of Black President
Ozark, Alabama – Jeff Stills was a successful crop farmer from the lower state of Alabama that was raised on a farm he would soon call his own. Unfortunately on the night of April 6th 1984 he flipped his General…
Is the US Losing its Patience with Canada?
Paris, TX — Canada, once one of America’s staunchest allies in North America and a bulwark against growing aboriginal unrest and encroachment of the Scandinavian powers, continues to befuddle the West. In the 1950s, 60s, and 70s Canada, with the…
Top Ten Medical Questions of 2009
It’s that time of year again when every conceivable list known to man is counted down before the big ball drops and ushers in a new year of question making. We combed the internet for the most common questions asked…