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Is the US Losing its Patience with Canada?

Is the US Losing its Patience with Canada?

Paris, TX — Canada, once one of America’s staunchest allies in North America and a bulwark against growing aboriginal unrest and encroachment of the Scandinavian powers, continues to befuddle the West.

In the 1950s, 60s, and 70s Canada, with the backing of the US and England, grew to prominence in North America. Canada became a ‘strongman’ and a policeman that the West could rely on in a sea of continuous turmoil in a region troubled by the growing influence of capitalism and rock and roll. However the excesses of Trudeau and his ties to the decadent ways of his Western puppetteers, finally were swept aside in the 1979 Revolution by a wave of burgeoning democracy and free market fanaticism.

Although embroiled in regional controversy the last quarter century, Canada has begun to emerge again in its own right. The West, especially the United States, has failed to come to grips with Canada’s emergence and role on the international stage.

In the last 5 years, Canada has gone from a nation capable of building good quality electric hair dryers and leaf blowers to where, today, it sits on the brink of being able to use that technology to produce goods such as washers and dryers, possibly even microwave ovens, which threaten to destabilize the region and directly threatens the hegemony of the US and its Chinese allies in the durable goods markets.

Canada with its half British, half French and half American blood ties confounds the West which sees it as both a major player in North America, and a major contributor to economic unrest. At times, the regime in Ottawa courts the US government and at times it confounds it. Leading up to a recent summit, the regime spoke in conciliatory words to President Obama praising his leadership and supporting his efforts in the region to bring peace and prosperity to the Black Hills. But in person, at the summit, the Canadian leaders would often slip into speaking French and pretending not to understand the US delegates while snickering behind their backs and passing notes, some reportedly, with crudely drawn pornographic images of many of the US delegates.

The US must now decide whether to act to bring the Canadians into line, or whether to adopt a ‘wait-and-see’ attitude towards the regime in hopes that elections will bring more moderate elements to power. What the US hopes for is a new regime that will turn to open talks about Canada’s growing industrial capabilities and one which would be willing to limit its exports to cheap copies of Chinese products which form the current mainstay of US and European consumerism. What the US can ill afford to allow is the continued competition of quality Canadian products in the one or two areas left where the US still actually manufactures tangible goods. In addition, the US would like to see the Canadian banks offer cheap, affordable mortgages and widely available credit to Canadian citizens, regardless of their credit history, in an effort to show the West that Canada is willing to destroy its own economy in the ways the West did during the late 90s.

Washington continues to grow uneasy with Canada. US citizens, wary of the Canadians provoking them into another preemptive war, have grown tired of Canadian rhetoric. We can only hope the quiet people of Canada can influence the government into resuming its role as the silent and poor 51st American state. What the world needs, in these rough economic times, is less competition and more kowtowing to the US which knows, only too well, what is best for everyone.


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@rev_rend Reverend Mike is a contributing editor for Glossy News. He was a Combat Chaplain with the Soviet Red Army in the 1980s. A career which he describes as an 'unappreciated field of endeavor'. He later worked as an Information Officer with the TASS News Agency on assignment in White Sands, NM. The collapse of the Soviet Union left him unemployed and homeless. He survived by selling magazine subscriptions door to door disguised as a college coed. He was later kidnapped and taken to Shanghai where he was sold into a white slavery ring. He lived as a concubine for a Japanese music industry mogul until 2002 when a wardrobe malfunction revealed his true identity. He found himself homeless and unemployed again, with only his collection of Polaroid snap shots. Reverend Mike has since scraped together a meagre living by blackmailing Japanese industrialists. Reverend Mike lives in a small 5 bedroom penthouse flat overlooking Central Park in New York City. His hobbies include exotic motorcycles, supermodels and owning small nations....


One Response to “Is the US Losing its Patience with Canada?”

  1. brendan from canada says:

    Are you kidding me? “We can only hope the quiet people of Canada can influence the government into resuming its role as the silent and poor 51st American state. What the world needs, in these rough economic times, is less competition and more kowtowing to the US which knows, only too well, what is best for everyone.” We the people of Canada are not as quiet as we once were. We now know that we can stand toe to toe with you Americans and the rest of the world. Our government speaks for us, unlike yours. We are NOT the silent and poor 51st state of the United States. Canada is its OWN COUNTRY with our OWN GOVERNMENT. We do not listen to you Americans, and we certainly do not have to do what you say. We are free and we will do what we please. We are sovereign. Also, we American do not know what is best for other nations or for the world. Look at where you guys are right now? Your banks are crap, your people are unhappy and you have a debt unlike any other nation in the world. We Canadians on the other hand do not have to deal with such unpleasant problems. We have a solid banking system and have one of the lowest debts in the free and western world.

    “The US must now decide whether to act to bring the Canadians into line”

    Bring us into line? Who do you think you are, the world police? Get real. We are going to do what we want and how we want and as far as we’re concerned you Americans need to mind your own fucking business.


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