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Glossy News Denies Black President Hoax

Glossy News Denies Black President Hoax

Toronto – A spokesperson for the Glossy News in Toronto this morning denied allegations that the Seattle-based news service fabricated the now famous story that a black man had won the US Presidential Race in 2008. The Toronto Sun Times reported Sunday in a developing story that the Glossy News had created an elaborate hoax in early November, 2008, reporting that a little known African American had been elected as the US president. The Glossy News spokesperson stated that the news service was just another victim of the fake story along with Reuters and CNN. Fox News continues to report that Sarah Palin won the election.

According to the Sun Times report, the hoax began on November 4, 2008 when the Glossy News reported that Mr Barack H Obama, of Chicago, Illinois, had won the presidency in a landslide vote over his opponent Senator John McCain. Both McCain and Senator Hilary Clinton denied the story at the time, but after the Reuters News Service and Lou Dobbs ran in depth reports on November 5, 2008, the story took on a life of its own and spread like wildfire.

The story, which continues to be reported as factual in some areas, has deeply disrupted the life of Mr Obama and caused divisive debate in America about the possibility of a black president.

Mr Obama, a Kenyan Citizen residing in Chicago at the time of the original report, was forced to resign his teaching position, take his children out of school, and move out of the state. Mr Obama says he is still hounded by the press more than a year after the story broke. He continually denies that the story was true or that he ever had presidential aspirations. The softspoken Obama pointed out, smiling, “I’m a Kenyan for crying out loud, don’t you have to be an American to be president?”

The story resurfaces in the media from time to time mostly because special interest groups, commonly called ‘birthers’, continue to insist that Obama is an American Citizen and that he is covering up the truth about his American ancestry. These skeptics point out that Obama has to be a US citizen because his mother was an American and they claim to have evidence he was born in Hawaii, not Kenya. Obama has countered numerous times by giving out copies of his Kenyan birth certificate. CNN’s Jon Klein says it is a ‘non issue’ and that Obama must be Kenyan based on the birth certificate and other documentation at the time. That documentation includes a press release in the Times of London from August 6, 1961, announcing Obama’s birth in Nairobi.

Obama said that continuous questioning by the press as to why he hasn’t done anything as president over the last year is confusing and hurtful, but that he is more concerned by the hatemail he receives on a regular basis. “It just seems like America really isn’t ready for a black president, even if it was just a joke,” sighed Obama in a recent interview.

When asked where the Glossy News came up with his name, Obama is equally confused, “I really don’t know. It’s like they just chose it out of a hat. I mean it really came out of nowhere. I was just another black college professor, but no one special, I mean, I had no qualifications or anything. I just can’t believe that people bought the story that I could be president.”

The spokesperson for the GlossyNews said that they ‘vehemently deny’ any knowledge of the hoax and that the news service stands by the original story.

When asked how this new development will affect her presidency, Mrs Clinton remarked, “I’m just glad it is over and I can get back to the real, critical, task of running the country.”

Jane Beardall of the non profit group ‘Hope For A Miracle’ said she will file suit in a 3rd District Court today asking the Court to force Obama to assume the presidency. Constitutional historians are unsure if such a measure would stand.

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@rev_rend
Reverend Mike is a contributing editor for Glossy News. He was a Combat Chaplain with the Soviet Red Army in the 1980s. A career which he describes as an ‘unappreciated field of endeavor’. He later worked as an Information Officer with the TASS News Agency on assignment in White Sands, NM. The collapse of the Soviet Union left him unemployed and homeless. He survived by selling magazine subscriptions door to door disguised as a college coed. He was later kidnapped and taken to Shanghai where he was sold into a white slavery ring. He lived as a concubine for a Japanese music industry mogul until 2002 when a wardrobe malfunction revealed his true identity. He found himself homeless and unemployed again, with only his collection of Polaroid snap shots. Reverend Mike has since scraped together a meagre living by blackmailing Japanese industrialists.

Reverend Mike lives in a small 5 bedroom penthouse flat overlooking Central Park in New York City. His hobbies include exotic motorcycles, supermodels and owning small nations….


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