Category: World News
Declassified Letters Reveal Bin Laden A Truly Beautiful, Gifted Writer
WASHINGTON D.C. – A collection of declassified letters written by the late al Qaeda leader, Osama bin Laden, has revealed that the mastermind behind the September 11 attacks was a surprisingly beautiful and disciplined writer. According to researchers at the…
General Mills Out of Egypt: We’re Not Coup-Coup for These Cocoa Puffs
International food conglomerate and global diabetes proponent General Mills this week announced that they’ll be shuttering operations in Egypt, following unrest, citing “things to cuckoo even for us.” The 2nd largest buyer of corn syrup in the history of the…
UN Demands That United States Drop ‘United’ From Their Name
The UN Council has put forth a petition demanding that the United States of America drop the term ‘United’ from their name due to the partisan bickering between conservative and liberal elements that has divided the nation. Chief UN Spokesman…
Real Christians needed to help remove Arabs
The ad read “Real Christians needed to help remove Arabs” so I called the number and pretended to be a volunteer. A pleasant, cheery woman’s voice responded. CAFI: Christian Alliance For Israel. Doing God’s work. Barb Weir: Hi. I saw…
Group Stages Naked Protest Against Naked Protests
Todays Breaking News: a group of women from Latvia have launched a naked protest against the global outbreak of naked protests, I assure you there is a lot of information to go with this story, but right now I am…
Kim Jong-Il ‘Completes Death Star’
According to North Korean propaganda, Kim Jong-Il has achieved every Star Wars fan boys wet dream and finished his “Death Star” and claims it is ‘now fully operational’. Our source in North Korea report that ‘Talks of an attack have…
Hallucinogen Study Halted While Researcher Talked Out of Large Bird’s Nest
A study on the use of hallucinogens in medicine has been put on hold as authorities attempt to talk 24 year-old Chicago University researcher Vern Shelby out of a 13-foot bird’s nest. The story is still developing, but it is…
DPRK Adds Second “Democratic” to Name
PYONGYANG – In a move that is receiving widespread international approval, the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea has added a second “Democratic” to its name, paving the way for what Supreme Leader Kim Jong-un describes as “A new era of…
5th Grader Tells Friend Personal Secret, Now Wanted by NSA for Revealing Government Secrets
WASHINGTON — Federal authorities yesterday filed espionage charges against Area Fifth-grader Eddie Rainden for allegedly disclosing to an unnamed classmate that he still, on occasion, pees the bed, a secret over which the NSA is claiming ownership since, according to…
Obama defends U.S. Alliance with al-Qaeda
It’s not easy to get an interview with the U.S. President. I had to pretend I was compliant journalist David Gregory, but it worked. Here is our conversation. Barb Weir: Thank you for granting me this interview, Mr. President.