WASHINGTON D.C. – A collection of declassified letters written by the late al Qaeda leader, Osama bin Laden, has revealed that the mastermind behind the September 11 attacks was a surprisingly beautiful and disciplined writer.
According to researchers at the US Military Academy, bin Laden, who was killed in a U.S. operation in Pakistan last May, displayed surprisingly intricate transitional development and advanced grammatical understanding throughout the 175-page cache seized by military forces during the raid on the Abbottabad compound.
“Okay, so he may have been The World’s Most Wanted Man and all that, but my God, bin Laden sure could knock out some of the most beautifully crafted phrases you’ve ever read,” said researcher Michael Stafford. “Even when he’d describe something so appalling – like the potential assassination of President Obama – he would incorporate such lovely vocabulary and advanced transitional forms that you’d find yourself kind of routing for the guy. I don’t know, it was just sort of cute, that’s all.”
Bin Laden, who was also wanted by the FBI in connection with the 2000 bombing of the USS Cole, is reported to have penned “pages and pages of spellbinding and utterly gorgeous prose” between 2001 and 2011 – a period that is widely considered to be his most prolific.
“Only bin Laden could describe the Arab Spring Uprising with such delicious turns of phrase,” continued Stafford. “When he outwardly praised “the clandestine and strategically harmonized military leadership of Egypt” I honestly wept. Such beauty dripping from the pages. Sublime. And his reference to Colonel Gaddafi as a “bastion of strength during the heartbreaking siege upon the Islamic way of life” just about killed me. Honestly, the guy should have been published in his own lifetime.”
Appraisal of bin Laden’s writing prowess comes a few years after the terror mastermind was widely praised for his spoken word delivery on various cassette tape releases during the last decade.