Category: Politics
Michele Bachman Comes Out as Eggplant
ST. PAUL – Democrats and Republicans alike are in shock after famed Congresswoman Michele Bachmann announced her exit from the closet as a proud American Eggplant. The move, which came after her recent decision not to seek reelection to the…
McDonald’s Fry Cook Filibusters Angry Manager to Avoid Getting Fired
PITTSBURGH — Local McDonald’s “Fryolator” Operator Terrance Yerkovski, in an effort to avoid losing his job, has been filibustering his manager for the past 72 straight hours. The filibuster, in which the 22-year-old Yerkovski is currently barricaded in the employee…
Report: Obama Fails to Check Privilege
The White House is on the defense after President Obama was caught failing to check his cisgender privilege at the announcement of a new cabinet appointment. According to reports, the president referred to UN Ambassador nominee Norrie Powers as “she,”…
NRA: “F*ck It, Why Have Laws At All?”
WASHINGTON — In a decisive move, federal lawmakers are expected to push a bill through both houses that would repeal every gun control law that ever existed in the U.S. dating back to the Articles of Confederation. According to sources…
DOJ Investigates DOJ, DOJ Clears DOJ in DOJ Review
After information has come to light regarding Chief Justice Eric Holder’s seizure of months of AP phone records and targeting of journalists such as James Rosen and David Sanger, Mr. Holder must now answer…to himself. Upon reading about the entire…
Poll: Majority Concede Overt Racist Moseley Likely Right
ENGLAND – In the wake of Thursday’s vicious attack in London, a new poll finds that a majority of the British public now believe the fascist leader Oswald Moseley was right when he condemned liberal immigration policies in the 1950s….
Report: Libertarianism Classified As Mental Disorder
In a development that is stirring nationwide anger, the American Psychological Association has released a report classifying Libertarianism as a mental disorder. Head researcher Paul Keynes discussed the organization’s findings, which were gleaned from a 10-year study that interviewed and…
Ann Coulter cuts out Latino’s heart, eats it
Conservative pundit Ann Coulter surprised viewers on Sean Hannity’s Fox News show when she carved into the body of a Latino immigrant and pulled out a heart. “I swear to God we will eat your hearts out, you Mexican illegals….
Republicans Force Illegal Immigrants out of the Country–305 Million to Leave Immediately
WASHINGTON D.C.–In a historic, and extremely surprising, turn of events for the land of the free and home of the brave, almost 90% of its diverse population has now found itself without a country or a home. Yesterday, on Capitol…
NRA Promotes New Mass Shootings to Stimulate Gun Sales
The NRA, flush with a victory over the US Government and common sense in general with their defeat of all gun bills, has decided to keep on a roll and create more gun sales by stimulating more mass shootings. Observing…