Corbyn Blames “Zionist Media Conspiracy” for “Wholly Unfounded & Groundless Antisemitism Allegations”

After being accused a million times of promoting antisemitic and antizionist conspiracy theories, Jeremy Corbyn has decided the best way to fight back against such harsh, unfounded smears is to point out the REAL sinister, shadowy cabal of disloyal parasites behind these recent allegations.

In a spontaneous astroturf mass rally outside the Gregg’s bakery in Kensington, Labour’s best-beloved anti-racist working class hero held forth as follows: Read more Corbyn Blames “Zionist Media Conspiracy” for “Wholly Unfounded & Groundless Antisemitism Allegations”

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Volkswagen Emissions Scandal is “No Conspiracy”

WOLFSBURG – German Chancellor Angela Merkel asserted that the Volkswagen emission debacle, including years of cover-up, was “no conspiracy.”

Merkel stated: “Already there are crazy Volkswagen conspiracy theorists on the Internet who believe that two or more persons must have planned this emissions strategy. Instead, we are quite sure it was just one person, some lone nut. And we will discover the one person who is responsible, if we possibly can.” Read more Volkswagen Emissions Scandal is “No Conspiracy”

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Conspiracy Theorist Denies Olive Oil is Extra Virgin

NEW YORK – Guido da Vinci had always wondered how there could so much extra virgin olive oil in supermarkets across the world.

“I mean wherever I went in the world, I could find extra virgin olive oil. A lot of it. Finally, I thought: how could this be?”

“So I did some research on the internet. And I found that more than two-thirds of olive oil that is labeled as extra virgin isn’t really extra virgin. Some of it may be virgin, but lots of it isn’t virgin at all!” Read more Conspiracy Theorist Denies Olive Oil is Extra Virgin

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