Search Results for: trump
CIA Digs up Dirt on President Trump, Forms New Planet
Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.–In response to President-elect Donald Trump’s denigrating the American intelligence community, the CIA dug up a planet of dirt on Trump, altering the Earth’s gravitational field. The American intelligence community was united in its assessment that Russia hacked…
President Trump Confined to White House, Refusing to Take Revolving Door
Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.–After much legal wrangling, President-elect Donald Trump and his children, Ivanka, Eric and Donald Jr. divested themselves of their holdings in the Trump Organization and in Trump’s dozens of other companies so that they could carry out their…
Germany Prepares to Prosecute Millions for Insulting Donald Trump in 2017
BERLIN – Germany’s law against insulting the leaders of foreign governments will be put to the ultimate test when billionaire Twitter personality Donald Trump is sworn in as President of the United States in January 2017. Insulting President-Elect Donald Trump…
Trump Shakes Things Up with Bold Cabinet Appointments
Donald Trump has wasted no time putting his signature on his new administration. In what some critics are calling a scarily bad case of Opposite Day, President-Elect Trump so far has chosen an Education Secretary who has never held any…
Who Needs Real News When Fake News Is Way More Fun (It never stopped Fox News or Donald Trump)
Fake News Fer Sale! Git Yer Fake News Right Here! Suddenly fake news stories are the In Thing and do we have ’em here for you! Get in on the latest fad and power trip going- fake news stories! Amaze…
Five Ways a Trump Presidency is Like Gilligan’s Island
Let me just say Richard Condon was wrong. The Manchurian Candidate is from Moscow and he ain’t brainwashed. Nothing about the recent election would make for a decently plausible political thriller or even proper parody. I know truth is stranger…
A Message For Trump’s Minions Worded In The Vernacular You Understand Best
In a bow to our supposed new President I submit this missive attempting to recreate the style of communicating that he does best in order to express myself properly to those who elected him. This letter, this message, this fatal…
Trump Taps Kanye West as Next Press Secretary
Trump Agrees to Return Alaska to Russia
In a clever, sage move by president elect Donald Trump, Alaska will be returned to Russia on January 21st, 2017. “We stole these lands and they have to go back to their rightful owners.” The United States purchased Alask from…
Will The Real Donald Trump Please Stand Up?
In early November 2016, Scotland’s first minister, Nicola Sturgeon, expressed more clearly than many other world leaders the hope that Donald Trump, when in office, would be very different from the Donald Trump she had witnessed on the presidential campaign…