Search Results for: obama
Romney Reaches Out to the Nation’s Dead People
WASHINGTON D.C. – In a move designed to kick-start his flagging presidential campaign Friday, Mitt Romney reached out to the nation’s dead people during a visit to a cemetery in the state of Virginia. Aiming to refocus his campaign after…
America Ranks #1 in Human Energy Conservation (Laziness)
One of President Obama’s campaign promises was to address the energy crisis. It’s one of his top priorities just after healthcare reform, job creation, education reform and improving his Baseball Opening Day Ceremonial Curve Ball (needs a lot of work)….
Exclusive to GlossyNews.com: Romney explains, “It’s a different 47%.”
In the aftermath of the 47% controversy, Republican Presidential Nominee Mitt Romney was besieged with requests for clarification. However, this journalist was able to reach him in the shower and force him to answer questions before giving him his towel,…
Oy Vey: Seinfeld to Play Romney in Biopic
Jerry Seinfeld has been cast to play Governor Mitt Romney in a yet unnamed feature film. How hard can it be to play an empty suit? Ask Jerry. “The hardest part will be keeping up with this guy. Romney, he’s…
Romney and Ryan to Clean Up Streets in New ABC Drama
LOS ANGELES- After recent reports have surfaced over the lack of news coverage given to Mitt Romney, the Romney/Ryan campaign sought to tackle the issue through a different approach. Romney campaign manager Matt Rhodes tells US Weekly that “It’s no…
Ron Paul ‘Will Fight Presidential Campaign Into 2013’ Just to See What Happens
WASHINGTON D.C. – Even though rival Republican presidential campaigner Mitt Romney has already attained the 1,144 delegates needed to seal the party’s nomination, Ron Paul says he will continue campaigning, vowing to fight on into 2013, just to see what…
Romney Proposes Two Week Term Limit on Facts
Dayton, OH – Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney today announced a controversial plan to place term limits on facts. During a campaign stop in Ohio, Romney was overheard telling a Koch brother that if elected he will immediately propose placing…
Was Romney’s Horse on Steroids at the London Olympics?
It’s now less than two months until the 2012 presidential election. The field of candidates has been whittled down to the Final 13. The short list includes several impressive independent candidates, like Robert Burck, better known to New Yorkers as…
9/12 Not Remembered
WASHINGTON – Almost eleven years on from the events of the day immediately following the 9/11 terrorist attacks, millions of Americans will spend tomorrow utterly failing to remember 9/12 – a day which involved hourly repeats of the same, non-developing…
Romney Plans to Live in Large Uterus Instead of White House
Toledo, OH – Republican presidential candidate Mitt Romney unveiled his plan to move himself and his family into a “uterus of suitable size and structure” if elected president. He made the announcement during a speech at a Toledo go-kart manufacturing…