9/12 Not Remembered

WASHINGTON – Almost eleven years on from the events of the day immediately following the 9/11 terrorist attacks, millions of Americans will spend tomorrow utterly failing to remember 9/12 – a day which involved hourly repeats of the same, non-developing news story across all the major news networks.

The day, which was followed by the equally unremarkable 9/13, 9/14 and 9/15, is expected to see the nation’s 300 million residents go about their business as if nothing had ever happened.

RIGHT: Smouldering ruins. I don’t suggest this, but if you must, feel free to (CLICK TO ENLARGE)

Asked to give their interpretations of 9/12, most Americans struggled to remember where they had been at the very moment CNN aired repeat footage of the South Tower collapsing.

“I don’t really remember what I was doing during the events of 9/12,” said Martha Jackson, of Richmond, Virgina, who was 33 at the time of events. “I guess I was just at work, or something. Or was I doing some cleaning at home?”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t remember,” she continued.

With 9/12 this year falling on a Wednesday, many Americans are expected to go ahead with their working lives, followed by dinner at home and an evening of watching the occasional television program.

“I doubt I’ll be doing anything out of the ordinary,” said resident of Kokomo, Indiana, Jake Craney. “I was thinking of just messing around on the internet or something. I mean, if I get time, maybe I’ll sit down in front of the news for three hours as a mark of respect, but I can’t make any promises.”

Meanwhile, US President Barack Obama has announced that a federal investigation is underway to determine whether or not 9/11 news reports could have been prevented.

Author: Laurence Brown

Laurence Brown is an award-winning comedic journalist based in Indianapolis, Indiana, who has edited several satirical news papers since 1999. Hailing from the United Kingdom, he has also written plays and short stories. He has a bachelor's degree in English and Creative Writing from Lancaster University. This article was originally published by The Indy Tribune.