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DOWN WITH HATE SPEECH! Bipartisan Bill Finally Makes US Corporations Protected Class
The notoriously divided America of today has many disputes and disagreements, whether it be border security, the climate crisis or social media conflict by liberal snowflakes and conservative trolls. But if there’s one thing the Republican and Democrats can agree…
Trump Administration Nutrition Lobbyists: “McDonalds Junk Food” is FAKE NEWS!
The Trump administration’s current representatives for infant health, general nutrition and healthy lifestyles have recently come out fighting against an insidious CNN / mainstream media CONSPIRACY against selfless, altruistic, patriotic restaurant companies. The three officials in question, representing KFC, McDonalds…
Shades Of Feminism In Video Games
It is no doubt that feminism has permeated every corner of the world and every aspect of our lives. The virtual world of video games – considered to be a male stronghold dominion is no exception. But ever since its…
White House Releases New Press Corps Rules
Washington, DC- Fresh off a U.S. District Court ruling that forced the Trump Administration to return the press pass of CNN chief White House correspondent Jim Acosta, Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders announced new rules of conduct for reporters on…
Republicans Outperform in Midterms, Russian Hackers Escape Blame
Kiev, Ukraine – Comparing the results to what pollsters had predicted in the lead up to Election Day, politicans and journalists have generally concluded that, with few exceptions, Republicans outperformed expectations by several percentage points.
Power and the Abuse of Language: A Rant by Rashad the Cackler
[The homeless old man, Rashad the Cackler is back with another rant. Enjoy as he spills his guts to passersby on a big city street corner.] *** We’ve got these democratic, capitalistic societies we’re so proud of. That’s how we…
SEC Announces Plans for a Human Commodity Trading Market
York, NY – US Securities and Exchange Commission (SEC) Chairman Jay Clayton, in a joint press conference with Secretary of Commerce (SOC) Wilber Ross and Secretary of the Treasury Steve Mnuchin, announced plans to allow the trading of Human Beings…
To ‘Kowtow’ – An Unfortunate New Habit Imported From China
kow·tow ˌkouˈtou/ verb 1. Act in an excessively subservient manner. “She didn’t have to kowtow to a boss.” Synonyms: Grovel to, be obsequious to, be servile to, be sycophantic to, fawn over/on, cringe to, bow and scrape to, toady to, truckle to, abase oneself before, humble oneself to. 2. HISTORICAL Kneel and…
Kim Jong Un Channels Newfound US Ally: “Communist Deaths are Fake News!”
Pint-sized potty mouth Korean dictator Kim Jong Un has recently put his new rhetorical skills into practice with a stunning display of historical denialism. Hosting Pyongyang’s first ever global media press conference, fake bourgeois capitalist news outlet CNN asked him:…
Random Thoughts (XIV): Fundies, Agitators & Toxic Males!
Not All Faiths are Equal Yes, you judged rightly: I am indeed a man of peace. And I can see much good in many faiths. And it’s precisely from this spirit, that I simply cannot accept moral equivalence between all…