City Sued For Providing Free Drugs To Residents
Philadelphia, PA – Recently the Associated Press disclosed that the Environmental Protection Agency plans on collecting 1 million pills during an Earth Day initiative aimed at the people who live around the Great Lakes. They also stated that there is…
Senate Hands Control of Health Care Reform to Private Citizen
Hoboken NJ — In an effort to provide the best possible universal health care coverage to American Citizens, the Senate today released a new, surprise, Health Care Plan where all coverage will be provided through the ‘Bill Whiddel Insurance Agency’….
Woods Chasing Beck in Lost Sponsor Race
FOXNEWDS Studios–NYC. — In a little noticed scenario in the celeb sweeps the recent Tiger girls-rush-to-claim-sex-with-me-first media circus has caused another celeb, Glenn Beck, to amp up his offensive abilities. Beck is reported as hiring a brace of new writers…
White House Crashers, the Salahis, Claim Responsibility for Crashing Twitter
A call from a man claiming responsibility for the recent Twitter hacking, which was originally reported to have been orchestrated by a group calling itself the Iranian Cyber Army, has now been traced to a bungalow in a Washington, D.C….
IKEA To Accept Souls As Currency
In a bold attempt to increase sales, Swedish furniture retailer IKEA has announced that it will soon allow customers to sign away their mortal souls in exchange for store credit. Those whose souls are not wholesome enough to afford more…
Senate Democrats Should be Sent to Reform School
In the wake of the systematic butchering of the Senate version of the health care reform bill almost single-handedly by Sen. Joe Lieberman (Dem/Ind/Rep/Lib-CN), it has been suggested that not only Lieberman, but all Democrats should be sent to Reform…
Aliens Walk Among Us (in Bulgaria Anyway)
Aliens from the Planet Nibiru and also the Pliedes, Lyra and Draco star systems have been visiting Earth for Millenniums what horologists term ‘a very long time’ – according to Bulgarian scientist Prof. Gregor von Numpty – and what is…
How a Magical God Experience Transforms People
(People seem very interested in the Question of God… So here’s another paper on God and Mysticism and Human Progression…) ‘Characteristics and experiences perceived during the mystical state have been examined in many scientific studies, the majority falling into the…
New Construction Soars as Contractors Build without Buyers
Houston (GlossyNews Exclusive) — Housing starts all over the country have soared in the last two weeks as general contractors near you went back to work building with a vengance. Only problem is — there are no buyers. Already over…
Google Announces New Motto: “Be Less Evil Than Microsoft”
Since clinging to the original motto of “Don’t Be Evil” proved too great a burden in the emerging web economy, the more realistic slogan of “Be Less Evil than Microsoft” seemed a better fit, and an effortless goalpost to hit,…