World’s First Pregnant Man Opts for Abortion
Berlin (GlossyNews) — The first man to be able to successfully conceive, carry and naturally deliver a child, announced today that he will have an abortion, four months in to his pregnancy. Abel Boustard, 27, from the small town of…
Horoscopes by Catman, Dude
Welcome once again to the astrological stylings of Catman, Dude—the only seer who is not afraid to ask, “How the hell am I supposed to know?” Mr. Dude is an award-winning prognosticator who is half-cat, half-human, and half-assed. The Dude’s…
Dick Cheney Tapped to Fill Retiring Satan’s Seat
In a surprise move Sunday, Satan, the Prince of Darkness, announced his retirement citing that after thousands of years of initiating pestilence, wars, catastrophes and general mayhem, he was ready for a break. “The job wears you down.” the Great…
Senator Introduces Bill to Name Feb 29 Barack Obama Day
In a move to recognize the strides America has made in electing its first African American to the highest public office in the land, Senator Shirley Wynott (D-Id) has introduced a bill that would make every February 29 “National Barack…
Kate Gosselin Pissed Over Having to Take Anger Management Classes
Sources close to Kate Gosselin have indicated that in addition to getting another ultra expensive new hairdo to up her chances of finding a new daddy for her kids, the newly divorced Ms. Gosselin is also being told by her…
All White American Basketball League Hoping To Grace Southern States
Sometimes a story comes along that contains such overtly racist remarks that are so darned over the top that to try and rewrite it to fit within a satirical framework would do a great injustice to the story itself. This…
Sarah Palin to Open for Jonas Brothers in Anchorage, Alaska
Jonas Brothers fans in Anchorage, Alaska have finally gotten their wish. The Jonas Brothers are tentatively scheduled to perform at MaS! (Make-a-Scene) sometime in late June or early July, 2010. A firm date hasn’t been set. What is unusual about…
Does Brown Pack the Gear to Replace Kennedy?
Boston, MA (GlossyNews) — Democratic National Committee campaign strategists are rushing today to explain the unexpectedly strong showing by Republican Scott Brown in the Massachusetts special election to fill the seat of the late Senator Edward Kennedy. Republic pundits and…