Slime looks forward to joining cesspool in U.S. House
The gelled waste that once held office as South Carolina Governor has been elected to the U.S. House of Representatives. The win marks a major political comeback for the slime, Mark Sanford, who resigned after an extramarital glop in 2009….
Sarah Palin Receives PhD in General Studies
Conservatives around the nation are rejoicing at news that former Governor Sarah Palin of Alaska has be awarded a Doctorate of Philosophy in General Studies by Pensacola Christian College. According to sources close to the governor, Palin began working on…
Arbor Day a Real Holiday, Many Celebrate (comic)
It makes sense. All you have to do to honor Arbor Day is plant some trees. It’s the day of trees, after all. Find a good spot with some sunshine, throw down a seedling, call it a day, right? It…
Chris Christie Kills Spider, Triggers Collapse of Western Civilization
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie unintentionally set forth a sequence of events that will ultimately lead to the fall of the United States government and all of Western civilization when he smashed a tiny spider last week. The spider, which…
The Diminished Quality of Our American Hippies
I am writing this out of concern for the quality of hippies we have here in America at the moment. The other day I overheard a small group of alternative types in a natural food store discussing how they were…
Return of Christ Announced (comic)
We’ve all wondered when He’d get around to returning. At the sermon on the mount he said he’d return before the last of them in attendance had died, but what a kidder that Christ was, for the love of God….
The BRAIN Initiative: Obama’s Announcement
Barack rubbed weakly at his temples, which were sore and rough to the touch. He breathed slowly, in and out, as he tried to focus his racing mind, burdened by the thoughts of millions. He noticed through the window the…
Parents Hail Terrible High School Production of Hamlet a Pretty Neat Little Show
INDIANAPOLIS – Lacking the necessary analytical skills to objectively critique a work of theatre, parents of youngsters in a St Vincent High School production of Hamlet thought that the laborious, 3-hour show was pretty neat. Congratulating her son Ben on…
You Fancy Yourself a Poet, Eh? (comic)
Poets are bad enough, but the self-proclaimed poets are even worse still. Sometimes you want to challenge them, see if they’ve really got what it takes. Well this nay-sayer does just that with, well, unexpected results. I guess the full-on…
White House Administration consults with Department of UAV secretary Ryan YQM-98A R-Tern
Following a previous filibuster of John Brennan’s nomination to be CIA director, the Obama White House is said to be having closed door meetings with Department of Unmanned Aerial Vehicles secretary and well known developmental reconnaissance drone Ryan YQM-98A R-Tern…