Search Results for: republicans
Republicans Praised for Reducing Stigma for Psychopaths
Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.–The National Institute of Mental Health congratulated the Republican Party for helping to accustom Americans to those with mental illness, by elevating obvious psychopaths to positions of high office. Doctor Fernando Lamas, chairman of the Institute, said at…
Ode to the Wide Stance Republicans (Your Love is Wide)
My stance is wide My love is deep True Christian men Don’t judge lost sheep! I was only on my winding way I pitched my tent in a valley gay I didn’t mean to cause dismay My enemies lied upon…
Republicans Vanish in Puffs of Smoke When called Evil
Dateline: WASHINGTON, D.C.—Democrats are rejoicing after the Republican population has shrunk by nearly two thirds because its opponents have discovered a technique for making the conservatives literally disappear. Hugh Bloomfeld, the technique’s originator, recalls his Eureka moment. “My right-wing sister…
Trumpenstein Horror Now Threatens Republicans
A Rathskeller deep in the forested woods. Night has drawn its blackest curtain across the outer world, blocking out even the niggardly light from the stars. Rain hammers against the windows and lightning cackles in the air. A troupe of…
Republicans Start Hauling Out and Dusting Off Their Borg-like Candidates.
The 2016 Presidential Election is starting out with snail like excitement and colorful shades of gray-toned vibrancy. The Republican Party is beginning to wheel out their musty Presidential hopefuls for the public to gawk at. What is not let out…
4 out of 5 Republicans in Anonymous Survey Admit Liking Dick
Support for Dick Cheney and former President George Bush to be prosecuted for torture appear to have fallen faster than an erection in Hillary Clinton’s presence according to inside sources. Hard numbers from a recent survey revealed that most Republicans…
For Once I Agree With The Republicans – Immigration
I am glad Obama is finally standing up to the Republicans who have been kneecapping him since day one of his Presidency. It is just too bad that it isn’t over a better subject- immigration. The truth is- the boat…
Republicans Have Saul-like Epiphany Day After Winning Mid-term Elections
The day after winning a vital mid-term election that would give them a much stronger control of the U.S. Government, the Republican Party has apparently experienced an epiphany on the majesty of that which affected Saul on his Biblical quest…
Scandal: Many Republicans Found To Be Hooked On Koch
A shocking report has reached news desks throughout the country that many Republicans, especially those in great positions of responsibility, are hooked on Koch. Koch, which first made it appearance in the 40’s, has become more virulent in recent years….
Republicans Message to Minorities: “We Cool, Right?”
“…Reince Priebus, the Republican National Committee chairman, has begun an effort to attract more African-American voters…” – The New York Times – August 12, 2014 MEMORANDUM TO: All Republican incumbents and potential candidates FROM: Reince Priebus Hey! Wassup? It’s time…