Categorized | Politics, Religionism

Ode to the Wide Stance Republicans  (Your Love is Wide)

Ode to the Wide Stance Republicans  (Your Love is Wide)

My stance is wide

My love is deep

True Christian men

Don’t judge lost sheep!

I was only on my winding way

I pitched my tent in a valley gay

I didn’t mean to cause dismay

My enemies lied upon me, while I lay

They grasped my buckler

They took my shield

While I was dreaming in the field

A wretched Saul I am today

But I swear to you, I am totally NOT gay!

I was only sporting like Potiphar’s wife

Not leading a full-blown sinful life

I was just trying to see who I could be

Not damn my soul for all this whole great long eternity

It was all an idle game, like the play of Brahma

Oh, shit! No heathen! I meant Prophet Rama

Jesus doesn’t judge poor sinners

If it was only a meagre dinner

I didn’t feast like a Babylonian King

No true pious person has kissed my ring

I’m no naive Nimrod, nor tall Goliath

Just a humble servant, who craves his stipend

Please don’t think I look down on you

I prefer to look up, or just behind

Cos I’m a humble kinda guy

I won’t even begrudge you my share of pie!

The world has no love for wide stance guys

Well, they hate God too. So I’m not surprised!

So, please don’t judge this humble slave

Swagger’s pride corrupts…

But kneeling saves!


This post was written by

- who has written 367 posts on

Conspirator-in-Chief of the Peace Criminals Project: Neocon Surveillance& Satirical-Industrial Complex! Also published on a range of satire sites. Currently co-editing Glossy News (under the webmaster, Brian K. White). Contact me to pitch or submit your satire! David Cameron says I am a #TerroristSympathizer. Islamists say I am an #Islamophobe. New Atheists think I am a #CravenApologistForPrimitiveBronzeAgeSuperstitions. MRAs & Alt-Right think I'm a #MatriarchalCuck. Others say I'm a #StraightMiddleClassWhiteBoy. And still more think I'm a #FuckingPleb. Just another edgy day at the Satirist's office! I am the Mayor of the Zero Fucks Community ;) @w_runnymede (Twitter)


Leave a Reply

We are also looking for a satire editor
and a Clever Photoshop Guru...
Glossy News Exclusive Exposés

-- (SEE ALL Videos) --

Glossy News Fake Commercials!

Glossy News Podcast

(Listen on iTunes or Libsyn)

More Great Satire:

Check out links to even more of our friends...
Want to see Your Link Here?

Check This Out! shop dresses online

Recommended Sportsbook

Our Top Authors (last 30-days)

All of Our Categories:

Top Stories - Top Stories; Politics - Top Stories; Serious Commentary - Top Stories; World News - Top Stories; Biz News - Top Stories; War Zone | Horoscopes
Entertainment - Entertainment; Celebrity Gossip - Entertainment; Television - Entertainment; Music - Entertainment; Internet Tubes - Entertainment; Books, Newspapers & Misc - Entertainment; Movies
Society - Society; Health - Society; Crime - Society; Travel - Society; Crooked Cops - Society; Education - Society; Strange People - Society; Religionism - Society; Human Interest - Society; Kidz Zone
Science and Technology - Science and Technology; Science - Science and Technology; Technology - Science and Technology; Gadgets & Gizmos - Science and Technology; Environment
Sports - Sports; Scandals - Sports; Athletes - Sports; Events | All the Rest - News in Your Briefs - Making Headlines - Opinion/Editorial