Search Results for: republicans
Obama Blocks Republicans’ Salaries – Saudis Step In
Obama has issued an executive order to block salaries to Republican Congressmen. They responded by saying “They would impeach his black ass”. Democratic Congressmen have hailed this as the best step Obama has taken so far. This said, Republican Congressmen…
Mass Murderer Calls Republicans Soft on Satanic Values
Dateline: LOS ANGELES—In a documentary about the life of the infamous anarchist and sadistic mass murder, Max Truculence, Mr. Truculence criticizes American conservatives for being “soft-hearted, effeminate phonies.” He spoke from prison, since he’s currently serving a thousand year sentence…
Wild Animals of America Party Accuses Republicans of Thinking Too Much
Dateline: WASHINGTON—The Wild Animals of America Party began as an offshoot of the GOP, railing against big government for interfering with the divinely ordained inequalities in nature. “Let the natural struggle in the marketplace sort everything out,” said WAA’s founder…
Jesus Just Assumed That Republicans Knew About His Socialist Leanings
WASHINGTON D.C. – Speaking amid right-wing concerns that the United States is slowly becoming a socialist nation, Jesus Christ insisted Thursday that he just sort of assumed that members of the Republican Party – which comprises some of his most…
Republicans Finally Come Up With Health Care Plan For ‘Those People’
The Republicans, after years of doing nothing but bash President Obama’s Health Care Act, have at last introduced one of their own. Pooling their vast knowledge of human caring with aid from their endless sources of think tanks they have…
Non-Partisan Partisan Groups Terrorizing Republicans, Democrats Alike
Sick of the constant bickering between the two major political parties in America and the endless difficulties if makes for the common man, small groups of non-partisan partisan groups have taken to hiding in the woods and in the cellars…
Republicans Smoking Too Much Weed Again
Once again Republicans have been having drug deliriums from smoking too much weed. With regards to the stalemate on the shutting down the government (by the way, the WRONG parts of the government have gotten shut down- why are these…
Obama Meets with Republicans; Shows Them His Spine
President Barack Obama finally sat down with John Boehner and Mitch McConnell to discuss how to end the stalemate over the funding of government. Unfortunately, neither side could make the concessions needed to end the standoff. Upon leaving the meeting…
Republicans Demand Recount of Presidential Election Citing Illegal Zombie Voters
A U.S. Presidential election recount has been demanded by Republicans because it has been discovered that illegal zombies have been allowed to vote. Apparently in their over-exuberance to get people out to vote Democratic campaigners accidentally (or, perhaps intentionally as…
Republicans Force Illegal Immigrants out of the Country–305 Million to Leave Immediately
WASHINGTON D.C.–In a historic, and extremely surprising, turn of events for the land of the free and home of the brave, almost 90% of its diverse population has now found itself without a country or a home. Yesterday, on Capitol…