Category: Politics
Mnuchin Passes on Tubman, Offers Trump as Compromise for New $20
Washington, DC- On Thursday, Secretary of the Treasury, Steven Mnuchin, announced he had scrapped plans to release an updated $20 bill featuring the likeness of famed American abolitionist Harriet Tubman, sighting security issues with the design. The new bill had…
WTF?! Trump Fox & “Fiends” Interview Goes Off the Rails on a Crazy Train!
Washington, DC- On Friday, during a wild interview with Fox and Fiends host Ainsley Earhardt, President Donald Trump openly challenged House Speaker Nancy Pelosi to begin Articles of Impeachment, repeatedly challenged the House Speaker’s “manhood,” discussed the Art of the…
EXODUS! 100s Of U.S. Border Guards Desert Their Posts & Flee To Canada!
In response to overwhelming job stress, social oppression and poor working conditions, hundreds of ICE (U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement) officials and workers have streamed in hastily put together caravans to the Canadian border seeking asylum. The bedraggled lot, tired…
Trump’s Childhood Friend Pens Biography on Trump’s Early Years
Ever wonder what Trump was like as a child? Much like Jesus, his early years are a mystery. In a new book penned by one of Trump’s close childhood friends, we now have a window into the mind of the…
Scientists Opine Impeachment Could Cause President to Spontaneously Combust
Doctors across the country are warning everyone close to the President to watch for signs of spontaneous combustion due to the heat he is receiving after Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s report reveals there were crimes committed by Trump during the…
We Interrupt This Breaking News for Breaking News
Wolf Blitzer: This is Wolf Blitzer. Welcome to The Situation Room. We have important breaking news. The Wall Street Journal reports that Democrats in Congress are pushing back against President Trump’s plans to go to war with Iran. They are…
Washington Limericks! (TRIGGER WARNING: NOT FOR THE EASILY OFFENDED!)
There once was a loser called Bush Who told old Saddam to vamoosh He tanked the economy And made y’all some enemies And the terror threat went through the roof! ___ There once was a showman called Barry Who was…
More Amazingly Mesmerizing Memes!
Note from Wallace: more of rfreed’s memes! You can check his user profile to for some satire stories. Captions mine. Putin it away! “Orange and white” revolution? Mexican Dream Just like whack-a-mole Come Fly with Me Revenge Gate… Barr Brawl…
Alabama Proposed Reinstating Slavery
[Author’s Warning: This week’s post is in response to the Alabama State Legislature’s decision to pass the most draconian anti-abortion law in the country. So, if you’re from Alabama, or perhaps just a big Crimson Tide fan, you might want…
World Bank POVERTY SHOCK! US CEOs Living on Less than $100 000… a Day?!
Pioneering poverty busters the World Bank have followed the lead of the US government, whose recent decision to ban hate speech against underprivileged and widely despised economic minorities, such as filthy rich social media gurus and omnipotent oil barons has…
Our All-Hearing Drone Succeeds Once Again! We Eavesdrop On The Latest Trump – Putin Phone Call!
Still undetected by the CIA or the KGB, our seemingly undetectable drone has this time crashed the phone call our feckless leader made to Uncle Putin the other day. We could analyze it and pre-masticate it before feeding it to…
CARTOONS: T-Rex & Me! (Our Great New Graphic Artist, JF!)
A hearty welcome to our new writer and graphic artist, JF! Plenty more to come from him over the next few days. WHAT’S HAPPENING WITH THE BREXIT NEGOTIATIONS??? Rex has recently been assisting Theresa May with the Brexit negotiations. FIGHT…
Feminists OUTRAGED! Biden’s Creepy Campaign Trail Song List Leaks… CREEPY!
BIDEN 2020: FIRST SEXUALLY QUESTIONABLE PRESIDENT? Serial groper and wildcat Juncker’s sciatica handyman Joe ‘Creepy Uncle Joe Biden’ has just recently announced a bid for the presidency, despite a history of sexual misdemeanours which leaves but little daylight between him…
Middle Earth Question Time: Jez Saruman Believes All Lives Matter!
Mr Saruman, will you condemn the mass atrocities of Mordor? I condemn ALL indiscriminate mass murder of innocent civilians, whether perpetrated by Mordor, or by Gondor, or by anyone else in Middle Earth. But nobody mentioned Gondor. Well yes, funny…
Libertarians & GOP Demand MASS REVOLT Against UN Human Trafficking Laws!
HOW IS MUCH IS ONE LIFE REALLY WORTH?! Well, I guess we’re about to find out! Republicans and the Libertarian Party have staged a mass revolt against the UN 2019 human trafficking report. The Executive Director for the United Nations…
BIG OIL OVERJOYED! 10 American Air Force Pilots Hanged for Collateral Damage
CNN, Fox News and MSNBC are currently rejoicing, as a steady torrent of excitable news broadcasts jubilantly proclaim to us all that the long-enduring myth of a ‘lack of accountability’ for American foreign policy is finally dead and buried. How…
DOWN WITH HATE SPEECH! Bipartisan Bill Finally Makes US Corporations Protected Class
The notoriously divided America of today has many disputes and disagreements, whether it be border security, the climate crisis or social media conflict by liberal snowflakes and conservative trolls. But if there’s one thing the Republican and Democrats can agree…
Great Was the Fall (Parable on America With an Ancient Feel)
In the days of the old King, King Bush, the people did eat of the fat of the earth and drink of the fruit of the vine. But lo a new King, King Obama, ascended the throne and soon there…
Gay Old Party Strikes Again! Auntie Lindsey 2020, the Closet Choice! (Ted Haggard Guest Post)
NOTE FROM WALLACE: Our occasional guest contributor, Ted ‘I Know What You Did Last Night’ Haggard has provided us with one of the saltiest, spiciest lil old hot takes we’ve had in a while here at Glossy News! Enjoy! WOOP…
OH, GOD! IT’S NOT THAT TIME AGAIN IS IT???????
Noooooooooooooooo! It can’t be! It’s inhumane! Its monstrous! It just can’t be true! FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! What if every Christian lived in a perfect Christian world? Why Organized Religion Needs to Stand Aside Sometimes…
Electoral College Electors Hiding Out From Democratic Assassins Because of 2016 Election
Life is not easy for any of the 538 Electors from the 2016 election. Too many people with good memories remember very well the outcome of that election BECAUSE OF the outcome of that election. The trouble can well be…
McCain Gives “Thanks” From The Grave
Annapolis, MD- On Friday morning, former POW, Senator, and one-time Republican Party Presidential nominee John McCain, threw the world into a frenzy, when he rose from his grave, to apparently address comments made by President Donald “John” Trump, earlier this…
Mueller and Trump: Partners in Crime
CONGRESSMAN GIRLYMAN: Mr. Mueller, thank you for appearing before this congressional committee. We gather from William Barr’s summary of your report that you didn’t find sufficient evidence to prove at trial that President Trump had obstructed justice or that he…
Trump Memes: The Ideas Just Keep Presenting Themselves!
NOTE FROM WALLACE: rfreed is currently the undisputed meme master of Glossy News! However, for even more graphic fun (not necessarily memes!) try Upchuck and JF! AND, AS AN ADDED BONUS – AN ALL PRESIDENT’S MEME: FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS!…
State-Wide, Only 5 People Now Eligible to Hold Office in Virginia
RICHMOND, Virginia – The political situation in Virginia has grown dire. First, the Democrat governor admitted that his page in his medical school yearbook has people with blackface and Klan robes in it. Then, the Democrat second-in-command lieutenant governor got…
Trump Translation Guide
Over the first two years of Donald Trump’s presidency, he has made countless incredible statements and many bold claims about how great he is, how horrible his detractors are, and all the historic achievements he has made, which, according to…
“Deep State”? Or Is It More Likely A “Deep Oligarchy”?
The Right has made much ado about there being a “Deep State” – a massive and deeply underground unification of different government agencies all bent on curtailing our freedoms. The interesting thing is that in past decades such talk during…
Donald J. Trump- Just The Enema America Needs.
He said he was gonna do it and, dad-gum if he didn’t gone and dooded it. The Donald provided the laxatorial stimulus needed to remove decades of inner stagnant, potentially cancerous fecal growth that had been festering our governmental tract…
Glossy News Exclusive: Sean Hannity’s Secret… That Everybody Already Knows
Washington, DC- For most Americans, Sean Hannity is known as a fiery conservative mouth piece who nightly uses his influence to stoke the fires of division, with the subtlety and nuance of a sloppy wet fart. But behind those pearly…
A “How-To” for Your First Impeachment Party!
WELCOME and CONGRATULATIONS! A party planner for host and guest for the brand new 2019 winter fete: ‘The Impeachment Party!’ So you finally got the invite you were praying for. Now what to do? Dress FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share…