Harriet Tubman note
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Mnuchin Passes on Tubman, Offers Trump as Compromise for New $20

Washington, DC- On Thursday, Secretary of the Treasury, Steven Mnuchin, announced he had scrapped plans to release an updated $20 bill featuring the likeness of famed American abolitionist Harriet Tubman, sighting security issues with the design. The new bill had…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Mnuchin Passes on Tubman, Offers Trump as Compromise for New $20
potus
Posted in Politics Top Stories

WTF?! Trump Fox & “Fiends” Interview Goes Off the Rails on a Crazy Train!

Washington, DC- On Friday, during a wild interview with Fox and Fiends host Ainsley Earhardt, President Donald Trump openly challenged House Speaker Nancy Pelosi to begin Articles of Impeachment, repeatedly challenged the House Speaker’s “manhood,” discussed the Art of the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! WTF?! Trump Fox & “Fiends” Interview Goes Off the Rails on a Crazy Train!
Posted in Politics

EXODUS! 100s Of U.S. Border Guards Desert Their Posts & Flee To Canada!

In response to overwhelming job stress, social oppression and poor working conditions, hundreds of ICE (U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement) officials and workers have streamed in hastily put together caravans to the Canadian border seeking asylum. The bedraggled lot, tired…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! EXODUS! 100s Of U.S. Border Guards Desert Their Posts & Flee To Canada!
Posted in Books, Newspapers & Misc Politics

Trump’s Childhood Friend Pens Biography on Trump’s Early Years

Ever wonder what Trump was like as a child? Much like Jesus, his early years are a mystery. In a new book penned by one of Trump’s close childhood friends, we now have a window into the mind of the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Trump’s Childhood Friend Pens Biography on Trump’s Early Years
Posted in Politics Science

Scientists Opine Impeachment Could Cause President to Spontaneously Combust

Doctors across the country are warning everyone close to the President to watch for signs of spontaneous combustion due to the heat he is receiving after Special Counsel Robert Mueller’s report reveals there were crimes committed by Trump during the…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Scientists Opine Impeachment Could Cause President to Spontaneously Combust
Posted in Making Headlines Politics Top Stories World News

We Interrupt This Breaking News for Breaking News

Wolf Blitzer: This is Wolf Blitzer. Welcome to The Situation Room. We have important breaking news. The Wall Street Journal reports that Democrats in Congress are pushing back against President Trump’s plans to go to war with Iran. They are…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! We Interrupt This Breaking News for Breaking News
Bush Obama
Posted in Politics War Zone

Washington Limericks! (TRIGGER WARNING: NOT FOR THE EASILY OFFENDED!)

There once was a loser called Bush Who told old Saddam to vamoosh He tanked the economy And made y’all some enemies And the terror threat went through the roof! ___ There once was a showman called Barry Who was…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Washington Limericks! (TRIGGER WARNING: NOT FOR THE EASILY OFFENDED!)
POTUS President Donald Trump
Posted in Politics

More Amazingly Mesmerizing Memes!

Note from Wallace: more of rfreed’s memes! You can check his user profile to for some satire stories. Captions mine. Putin it away! “Orange and white” revolution? Mexican Dream Just like whack-a-mole Come Fly with Me Revenge Gate… Barr Brawl…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! More Amazingly Mesmerizing Memes!
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Alabama Proposed Reinstating Slavery

[Author’s Warning: This week’s post is in response to the Alabama State Legislature’s decision to pass the most draconian anti-abortion law in the country. So, if you’re from Alabama, or perhaps just a big Crimson Tide fan, you might want…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Alabama Proposed Reinstating Slavery
Posted in Biz News Politics

World Bank POVERTY SHOCK! US CEOs Living on Less than $100 000… a Day?!

Pioneering poverty busters the World Bank have followed the lead of the US government, whose recent decision to ban hate speech against underprivileged and widely despised economic minorities, such as filthy rich social media gurus and omnipotent oil barons has…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! World Bank POVERTY SHOCK! US CEOs Living on Less than $100 000… a Day?!
potus
Posted in Politics Top Stories

Our All-Hearing Drone Succeeds Once Again! We Eavesdrop On The Latest Trump – Putin Phone Call!

Still undetected by the CIA or the KGB, our seemingly undetectable drone has this time crashed the phone call our feckless leader made to Uncle Putin the other day. We could analyze it and pre-masticate it before feeding it to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Our All-Hearing Drone Succeeds Once Again! We Eavesdrop On The Latest Trump – Putin Phone Call!
T-Rex Naughty Dinosaur
Posted in Politics World News

CARTOONS: T-Rex & Me! (Our Great New Graphic Artist, JF!)

A hearty welcome to our new writer and graphic artist, JF! Plenty more to come from him over the next few days. WHAT’S HAPPENING WITH THE BREXIT NEGOTIATIONS??? Rex has recently been assisting Theresa May with the Brexit negotiations. FIGHT…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! CARTOONS: T-Rex & Me! (Our Great New Graphic Artist, JF!)
Posted in Politics Society

Feminists OUTRAGED! Biden’s Creepy Campaign Trail Song List Leaks… CREEPY!

BIDEN 2020: FIRST SEXUALLY QUESTIONABLE PRESIDENT? Serial groper and wildcat Juncker’s sciatica handyman Joe ‘Creepy Uncle Joe Biden’ has just recently announced a bid for the presidency, despite a history of sexual misdemeanours which leaves but little daylight between him…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Feminists OUTRAGED! Biden’s Creepy Campaign Trail Song List Leaks… CREEPY!
Hard Left Labour Marxist
Posted in Politics World News

Middle Earth Question Time: Jez Saruman Believes All Lives Matter!

Mr Saruman, will you condemn the mass atrocities of Mordor? I condemn ALL indiscriminate mass murder of innocent civilians, whether perpetrated by Mordor, or by Gondor, or by anyone else in Middle Earth. But nobody mentioned Gondor. Well yes, funny…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Middle Earth Question Time: Jez Saruman Believes All Lives Matter!
Posted in Politics Society World News

Libertarians & GOP Demand MASS REVOLT Against UN Human Trafficking Laws!

HOW IS MUCH IS ONE LIFE REALLY WORTH?! Well, I guess we’re about to find out! Republicans and the Libertarian Party have staged a mass revolt against the UN 2019 human trafficking report. The Executive Director for the United Nations…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Libertarians & GOP Demand MASS REVOLT Against UN Human Trafficking Laws!
Posted in Politics Top Stories War Zone

BIG OIL OVERJOYED! 10 American Air Force Pilots Hanged for Collateral Damage

CNN, Fox News and MSNBC are currently rejoicing, as a steady torrent of excitable news broadcasts jubilantly proclaim to us all that the long-enduring myth of a ‘lack of accountability’ for American foreign policy is finally dead and buried. How…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! BIG OIL OVERJOYED! 10 American Air Force Pilots Hanged for Collateral Damage
Posted in Politics Top Stories

DOWN WITH HATE SPEECH! Bipartisan Bill Finally Makes US Corporations Protected Class

The notoriously divided America of today has many disputes and disagreements, whether it be border security, the climate crisis or social media conflict by liberal snowflakes and conservative trolls. But if there’s one thing the Republican and Democrats can agree…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! DOWN WITH HATE SPEECH! Bipartisan Bill Finally Makes US Corporations Protected Class
Posted in Politics

Great Was the Fall (Parable on America With an Ancient Feel)

In the days of the old King, King Bush, the people did eat of the fat of the earth and drink of the fruit of the vine. But lo a new King, King Obama, ascended the throne and soon there…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Great Was the Fall (Parable on America With an Ancient Feel)
Posted in Politics Society

Gay Old Party Strikes Again! Auntie Lindsey 2020, the Closet Choice! (Ted Haggard Guest Post)

NOTE FROM WALLACE: Our occasional guest contributor, Ted ‘I Know What You Did Last Night’ Haggard has provided us with one of the saltiest, spiciest lil old hot takes we’ve had in a while here at Glossy News! Enjoy! WOOP…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Gay Old Party Strikes Again! Auntie Lindsey 2020, the Closet Choice! (Ted Haggard Guest Post)
Posted in Politics

OH, GOD! IT’S NOT THAT TIME AGAIN IS IT???????

Noooooooooooooooo! It can’t be! It’s inhumane! Its monstrous! It just can’t be true! FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share these HILARIOUS Related Posts! What if every Christian lived in a perfect Christian world? Why Organized Religion Needs to Stand Aside Sometimes…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! OH, GOD! IT’S NOT THAT TIME AGAIN IS IT???????
Posted in Politics

Electoral College Electors Hiding Out From Democratic Assassins Because of 2016 Election

Life is not easy for any of the 538 Electors from the 2016 election. Too many people with good memories remember very well the outcome of that election BECAUSE OF the outcome of that election. The trouble can well be…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Electoral College Electors Hiding Out From Democratic Assassins Because of 2016 Election
Posted in Politics Top Stories

McCain Gives “Thanks” From The Grave

Annapolis, MD- On Friday morning, former POW, Senator, and one-time Republican Party Presidential nominee John McCain, threw the world into a frenzy, when he rose from his grave, to apparently address comments made by President Donald “John” Trump, earlier this…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! McCain Gives “Thanks” From The Grave
Posted in Politics

Mueller and Trump: Partners in Crime

CONGRESSMAN GIRLYMAN: Mr. Mueller, thank you for appearing before this congressional committee. We gather from William Barr’s summary of your report that you didn’t find sufficient evidence to prove at trial that President Trump had obstructed justice or that he…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Mueller and Trump: Partners in Crime
Posted in Politics

Trump Memes: The Ideas Just Keep Presenting Themselves!

NOTE FROM WALLACE: rfreed is currently the undisputed meme master of Glossy News! However, for even more graphic fun (not necessarily memes!) try Upchuck and JF! AND, AS AN ADDED BONUS – AN ALL PRESIDENT’S MEME: FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS!…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Trump Memes: The Ideas Just Keep Presenting Themselves!
Posted in Politics

State-Wide, Only 5 People Now Eligible to Hold Office in Virginia

RICHMOND, Virginia – The political situation in Virginia has grown dire. First, the Democrat governor admitted that his page in his medical school yearbook has people with blackface and Klan robes in it. Then, the Democrat second-in-command lieutenant governor got…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! State-Wide, Only 5 People Now Eligible to Hold Office in Virginia
Posted in Politics

Trump Translation Guide

Over the first two years of Donald Trump’s presidency, he has made countless incredible statements and many bold claims about how great he is, how horrible his detractors are, and all the historic achievements he has made, which, according to…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Trump Translation Guide
Posted in Politics

“Deep State”? Or Is It More Likely A “Deep Oligarchy”?

The Right has made much ado about there being a “Deep State” – a massive and deeply underground unification of different government agencies all bent on curtailing our freedoms. The interesting thing is that in past decades such talk during…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! “Deep State”? Or Is It More Likely A “Deep Oligarchy”?
President Trump
Posted in Politics

Donald J. Trump- Just The Enema America Needs.

He said he was gonna do it and, dad-gum if he didn’t gone and dooded it. The Donald provided the laxatorial stimulus needed to remove decades of inner stagnant, potentially cancerous fecal growth that had been festering our governmental tract…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Donald J. Trump- Just The Enema America Needs.
Posted in Politics Television

Glossy News Exclusive: Sean Hannity’s Secret… That Everybody Already Knows

Washington, DC- For most Americans, Sean Hannity is known as a fiery conservative mouth piece who nightly uses his influence to stoke the fires of division, with the subtlety and nuance of a sloppy wet fart. But behind those pearly…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! Glossy News Exclusive: Sean Hannity’s Secret… That Everybody Already Knows
Posted in Politics Top Stories

A “How-To” for Your First Impeachment Party!

WELCOME and CONGRATULATIONS! A party planner for host and guest for the brand new 2019 winter fete: ‘The Impeachment Party!’ So you finally got the invite you were praying for. Now what to do? Dress FIGHT THE FAKE NEWS! Share…

WTF?! Click now to find out more! A “How-To” for Your First Impeachment Party!