Poland’s Mig-29’s Lost

A spokesperson for the Polish government announced that the thirty Mig-29’s offered to the Ukraine have gone missing.  The logistics staff overseeing the Migs all came down with a mysterious illness and reported sick.  A mix-up prevented their replacements from reporting for duty.  This resulted in the planes being unguarded.  When the staff returned to their normal duties they discovered that the Mig-29’s offered to the Ukraine were missing.

This reporter has uncovered the truth in this so-called mix-up.

Nearby the sleepy town of Jasionka, county of Rzeszow, Poland just north of Rzeszow coordinates 50˚6’54”N 22˚3’19”E is an airport.  A Ukrainian bus appeared with thirty pilots two ground crew and a driver.  They had crossed the border with ninety women and children rescued from the ravages of war.  The pilots, disguised as women, were let thru with the other refugees.  After disembarking those who had been rescued they continued on the eighty kilometers to the airport where the Migs were stored.

With bravado and a feigned indifference they yawned their boredom and claimed that they were there to inspect the planes.  “We can’t give you those planes,” the logistics commander exclaimed.  “Who says we want them?  Maybe they’re no good.  Maybe you want to dump a pile of junk on us so you can get the Americans to give you used F-16 fighter jets,” the Flight Major retorted.  “They have had the utmost care,” the logistics commander replied.

“We can’t take your word,” replied the Major, “We must inspect them or reject them!”  A look of exasperation fell upon the face of the commander.  He threw up his arms in the universal sign of capitulation and said, “Very well, inspect them.”

“How long will it take you to fuel and arm them,” the Major asked.  The commander just stared at him.  “We can’t confirm the soundness of the airframes if we don’t fly them fully fueled and armed,” the Major replied with some exasperation of his own.  The commander turned and stared at his ground crew and shook his head.  “Of course if it’s too much for your personnel to accomplish…” the Major stated.  The commander’s executive assistant jumped forward and shouted, “We can fuel and arm all thirty within two hours!”  He turned to his crew and they jumped into action.  The two Ukrainian crewmen joined them. 

The commander just stared at all the activity.  Finally, he quietly asked, “You intend to fly them?”  With indifference the Major answered, “Yes we will take all thirty up, two-by-two and do a series of maneuvers to test their effectiveness.  “You’ll land them again?” the commander whispered his question.  “Of course we will land them, you have my word,” the Major replied.

The planes were prepared in less than two hours.  The Polish and Ukrainian flight crew were all smiles.  The pilots roared off the runway two-by-two.  They performed maneuvers above the airfield in ever widening circles.  The roar of the Mig-29’s lessened and the air above became silent.  The commander just shook his head. 

His executive assistant’s face held a befuddled expression.  Occasionally a ground crew member would point towards the sky and then shake his head.  The Ukrainian pair seemed just as confused.  One of them jumped as if startled by a snake and shouted at the commander, “I don’t think they’re coming back!”  The commander just stared at them as the pair twisted and turned looking at the sky.  The Ukrainian crew members turned and looked at each other with considerable consternation.  One of the pair advised the commander, “If I were you, I’d call in sick.”  They returned to their Ukrainian bus and their driver drove them away.

Author: Zajacz

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