Minsk, Belarus. In a stunning and literal collapse the Communist Party headquarters, with the sound of a small whump, collapsed killing the entire party leadership controlling the Belarus government. With one exception, the Socialist Sporting Party, the 9.4 million Belarusians rejoiced. Church bells pealed. There was dancing and singing in the streets.
The sole survivor, Vlad Vladimir Vladimirivich, was interviewed. “I am a hire; not a member. The building is designed as a square donut. I was in the center courtyard working on Lenin’s fountain; to restart it now that the warmer weather has begun. I heard a loud, well it sounded loud to me, a loud whump; from all directions. The building collapsed around me. I had to climb over piles of rubble. It was most surprising. This has never happened to me before.”
At this time there is no known cause for the building’s collapse. A brief inspection of several vertical beams reveal a jagged and burnt cut thru the steel as if from an acetylene torch. Speculation is that primacord was used to cut thru all the vertical beams at once.
The void that had controlled and enslaved the people was filled by the Christian Coalition Party, the Green Party, and the Party Against Loud Children and Loud Music. The latter Party having a surprisingly large following.
A spokesperson, Yevgheny Alexi Alexandroff, said that the coalition quickly filled the seats of the two house parliament; the 110 member House of Representatives and the 64 member Council of the Republic. With great joy they began yelling at each other over which fruits to tax and what size nails to import. A great disagreement erupted over the defining of what age is a child no longer loud.
One agreement that was reached with unanimity was that the Russian troops must go! They have ordered the new and perhaps temporary Prime Minister, Sergei Serveyivich, to muster the militia and drive the Russians off of Belarusian soil if necessary.
Parliament further ordered the Prime Minister to seize all materials both war making and support until Russia smooths and rids our soil of all the damaging tank tracks that have decimated our Belarusian land.