Category: Top Stories
Are These Poems Strange? People Have Named Them ‘Haikus.’ What? Oh, Gesundheit!
Are these poems strange? People have named them Haiku’s. What? Oh, Gesundheit! Obama make peace, Progress with Cuba, Iran. Now will Hulk Trump smash. Immigrants sneak in, quickly come over border. Texas sink from weight. Heat wave hit cities, But…
Voters to Presidential Candidates: “Get Back to Work… You’re a Year Early!”
Everywhere, USA- Fresh of the heels of the first round of debates among Democratic Presidential hopefuls, and the “official” launch of President Donald Trumps re-election campaign, it appears the 2020 Presidential Campaign is in full swing. On the Democratic side,…
Senate Republicans Blame Dems for Failed Budget Negotiations with White House
Washington, DC- Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-KY) lashed out at Senate Democrats today, after his fellow Republicans failed to reach an agreement on a long term military funding bill with White House negotiators, resulting in a reported physical altercation…
Hot Off The Press… Oops, Census Citizenship Question Remains!
Washington, DC- Fresh off a Supreme Court ruling which temporarily banned a citizenship question from appearing on the 2020 Census, U.S. Secretary of Commerce Wilbur Ross confirmed to members of the media on Tuesday that the government printing presses had…
SPACE PIRATE PUTIN Dumps Nuclear Treaty with America… Trump Buzzing, Whole World Fuzzing!
Moscow, RU- On Wednesday, rugged Russian President and self-styled hyper-masculine space pirate Vladimir Putin signed a bill that officially withdrew Russia from the 1987 Intermediate-Range Nuclear Forces Treaty (IRNFoT); bringing to an end, the end of the Cold War. It…
JEONGMAL! Stans Sigh, Bumbling “BTS Buttigieg” Sharpens His Korean
Democratic presidential candidate Pete Buttigieg revealed today that he had learned the Korean language to better enjoy the music of K-pop sensations BTS. The South Bend, Indiana, mayor attended a recent concert, part of the group’s “Love Yourself” world tour,…
RUSH LIMBAUGH BLUNDER! “Drinking Toilet Water a Step Up For Migrants… & it Tastes Great!
Palm Beach, FL- Conservative firebrand and longtime hate addict, Rush Limbaugh, managed to get the attention of non-right wing extremists on Tuesday, when he made a series of potentially racist comments regarding a congress woman, and detainees housed at a…
HHS Offers APOCALYPTIC Warning… John Bolton’s Opioids About to Wear Off!
The end of the world is nigh, and there’s nothing you can do about it! The Antichrist is among us, and we’ve not got much time… How so? Well, read on to find out more! Pretty sure the mainstream media…
Iran to US: “Thanks for the New Drone Tech!”
Washington, DC- On Thursday evening, moments before he was to order an air strike against Iran, President Donald Trump received a letter of thanks from the President of Iran, Hassan Rouhani, for sharing the latest in American drone technology, after…
More Fucking LIES: President Denies His Re-Election Campaign Started in 2017!!!
Orlando, FL- The script read almost exactly the same… minus the “rapists.” The expired, irrelevant chants of “Lock her up,” rang out from the frenzied mob, blissfully unconcerned by the absolute silliness of the scene. They had waited for days…