Palm Beach, FL- Conservative firebrand and longtime hate addict, Rush Limbaugh, managed to get the attention of non-right wing extremists on Tuesday, when he made a series of potentially racist comments regarding a congress woman, and detainees housed at a border town internment camp, during the broadcast of his radio show. This marks the first successful attempt of the once relevant talk show host at getting noticed by anybody who isn’t a white man over the age of 52.
The comments came during a popular segment of his show called “Who Does Rush Hate?” in which Limbaugh lists the names of people he hates, and the reasons why he hates them. The first mark in the segment was Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY), who visited a Clint, Texas internment camp on Monday and claimed that the conditions of the facility “Make Rikers Island look like Puerto Rico.” The first term Congresswoman described the conditions as “4th World,” and claimed that the prisoners were forced to share blankets, and reuse toilet paper. Perhaps her most shocking claim, was that detained woman were forced to drink “straight from the toilet… like dogs.”
Ocasio-Cortez’s claims about the conditions of the internment camps provided the perfect segue for Limbaugh to go after his second mark, “Female Immigrants,” whom he claimed “provided no benefit other than supplying the world with Anchor Babies.” In direct response to Ocasio-Cortez’s claims of detainees drinking out of toilets, Limbaugh stated; “Drinking out of the toilet is an improvement for most of these bitches. At least the urine in the can is sterile, which is more than I can say about these prisoners. Why is it that these South American women seem to be perpetually preggo? As far as drinking from the toilet goes, let me tell you… I drink from the toilet all the time, and it tastes great! It’s enabled me to multi-task every time I’m thirsty. I drop down to my knees, close my eyes and pray for forgiveness as I plunge my head into the can and suck. If you’ve never done this before, you should try it. I recommend this to all of my viewers.”
For the first time in over a decade, the talk show host has drawn the ire of Liberal elites; Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) replied on Shitter:
Welcome to the 21st century Rush. Nice to see that you’re discussing current events for a change. You may not know this but I’ve listened to your show for the last 20 years, and it’s been at least ten [years] since you discussed a topic that was actually part of the national conversation. Is this the start of a (male) pattern (baldness… LOL), or just a fluke? Let’s hope not!
Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer (D-NY) also replied on Shitter, aping Pelosi’s comments:
I guess you can teach an old dog a current event. How was your trip to the 1990’s, Rush? I thought you were never gonna get out of that decade alive. Just caught your latest show… It was… monolithic. Nice to see some things will never change.
Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez was strikingly Millennial with her Shitter reply:
Who dis? Rush… as in YYZ Rush? Your drummer is awesome!!!
Talk show hosts on the right were quick to rally around Limbaugh. Fox News Host Tucker Carlson dedicated the first half of his show to Limbaugh, though in a strange turn of events, seemed to misunderstand why Rush was trending in the news.
It is with a heavy heart tonight, that we celebrate the life and death of a media trail blazer. Tonight we remember a fellow white man with a microphone, Rush Limbaugh, who died today due to decades of neglect. Rush, I’ll see you when I get to heaven.
Fox News Host and Head of Presidential Propaganda, Sean Hannity was quick to seize on Carlson’s mistake, Shitting:
Tucker Carlson thought Rush Limbaugh died today, turns out it was quite the opposite (and Tuck wonders why I’m the king of the ratings). Today, Rush rose from the ashes of the 1990’s and participated in a conversation about the 21st Century. Welcome back Lazarus.
Even Newt Gingrich, who once famously fucked himself on the floor of the House of Representatives in 1997 so that Limbaugh couldn’t do it on his radio show first, showed his support on Shitter:
Welcome back to the fray Rush. I know it’s hard, but trust me, being angry and being right, are nothing compared to the rush of being a viral sensation. Nice to know you popped your internet cherry. Cheers… here’s to being relevant once again!
Whether or not Limbaugh will continue this trend of discussing issues pertinent to 2019 is unclear, but for now it’s nice to have his old familiar voice weigh in on something new.
UPDATE: I tuned into Limbaugh’s show this morning hoping to hear more current topics. When i flipped the dial, I heard him discussing Betsy Ross and the American flag. I assumed he was discussing the latest Nike controversy; the recall of Nike Air Flight Max shoes that were found to be emblazoned with Ross’ famous, needlepoint, white nationalist symbolism. As I continued to listen to the broadcast, it quickly became apparent that this was not the case. Turns out Limbaugh was sharing a story about a double date he went on with Ross back in his college days, and how he and the famous seamstress are second cousins, twice removed. The segment following Ross was a discussion of the latest revelations in the Bill Clinton Impeachment proceedings.