Category: Top Stories
Zagat: Prison Grub Beats Hospital Food
Researchers from the government’s Institute for Wasting Time & Money have recently decided that the food provided in HM Prisons is better than in NHS hospitals – which ultimately may support the pointless argument that people live longer in prisons…
Literal Dog Gang Finally Collared
A pack of mutts known locally as the Manky Mongrel Gang have been arrested by a joint action team of police and the RSPCA’s elite Canine Squad officers following the discovery of £3,000 of stolen pet food during a raid…
Anti-Graft Boss Caught Elbow-Deep in Graft
Campaigners have condemned the reappointment of the head of Kenya’s anti-corruption agency – the KACC (pronounced ‘cack’) – by the 105-year old President Dogbone Meow Kitkatbar.
Suicide Bomber Sues For Injuries
WASHINGTON D.C.– Known terrorist Ahmed Aafiya Sadeed has filed a law suit against the United States Government, claiming the White House to be an unsafe work environment. The law suit arose after Ahmed Aafiya Sadeed was injured falling off of…
iPhone Explodes in Ossetia – Millions Feared Dead
French consumer groups are investigating a disturbing bout of recent reports concerning iPhone 3GS models that have exploded or burst into flames spontaneously.
Congress Places Bill of Rights Up for Auction on eBay
Washington, DC (BSNE): Amid much fanfare, Congressional leaders from both parties announced a new series of aggressive raise revenues to off set the skyrocketing Federal Budget Deficit. At the top of the Initiative is to offer the Bill of Rights…
Failures Force Obama to Look for Scapegoats
National Enquirer – Part II of John Smith’s report of his time on Martha’s Vineyard posing as a landscaper at the Obama Compound. From his hiding place in the bushes outside a screened-in porch where strategy meetings were held, Smith…
Counter Protester Turns to Cannibalism
Kayotic City, CA – Things turned ugly Wednesday night at a gathering of citizens in favor of President Obama’s Health Care Reform Bill, when a counter-protester ran up to one of the march participants and bit off the tip of…
President Obama Assaulted With Caramels
Taking his cue from a popular American television show, President Karzai of Afghanistan lobs candy at President Obama, believing it to be an act of endearment.
Obama Proposes Pet Health Care Plan to Woo Seniors
Stung by reports that the elderly are turning against his health care reform proposal, President Barack Obama is prepared to offer seniors a series of incentives to get them back on board.