Category: Top Stories
Healthcare Bill ‘deemed’ Passed in House – Yea or Nay Obsolete?
Washington DC (GlossyNews) — The U.S. House of Representatives passed the America’s Affordable Health Care Choices Act–without ever voting on it. With votes for passage of the bill in short supply, the House Democratic majority simply “deemed” the contentious bill…
Historian Casts Doubt on Helen Keller Legacy
BOSTON, MA (GlossyNews) — First-time author Calvin Klavan has touched many nerves with his newly published, “The Keller Fraud: It was just a bad astigmatism.” In the 657 page narrative, Klavan posits a seemingly bizarre take on Keller, the beloved…
LEGO City Mayor Implicated in Sex Scandal
LEGO CITY, U.S.A. (GlossyNews) — Since its founding in 1978, Lego City has suffered through a history of controversial expansion, interminable redevelopment and what most residents consider “pure chaos.” Accusations of illicit gerrymandering — executed through back door political favors…
Las Vegas Odds Makers Taking Bets on the “N” Word
LAS VEGAS, NV (GlossyNews)– Taking a sharp turn away from sports betting, Las Vegas odds makers are said to be taking silent bets from some of the top businessmen and politicians in the country on who will be the first…
Joe Biden Sits on White House Toilet With Door Open and Whistles
WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — “Clueless Joe,” as they are calling him these days, seems to be losing touch with reality bit by bit each day, as he wanders through the White House talking to no one in particular and asking…
Pope to Pedophile Priests: Eat More Fish
VATICAN CITY (GlossyNews) — It appears that Pope Benedict XVI has had an epiphany about the sex scandal continuing to plague the Catholic Church: lack of fish in a priest’s diet can lead to inappropriate sexual behavior toward young men….
YouTube Goes Down — Bored Millions Panic
SAN BRUNO, CA (GlossyNews) — YouTube, the popular video networking site, was unavailable today due to technical difficulties. The site, which attracts millions of users from across the globe, was down for one hour while technicians attempted to rectify the…
Dems Respond to Vampire Corruption Charges
WASHINGTON, D.C. (GlossyNews) — It began with whispers and raised eyebrows, then quickly became a prairie fire. So far only the venerable Helen Thomas, speaking at D.C.’s popular Make It Look Like a Business Expense Bistro, has found courage to…
Strike By Angels Shuts Down Heaven
Heaven (GlossyNews) — A major uproar has occurred in the normally peaceful and idyllic universal subdivision of Heaven, home to famous celebrities such as Jehovah, Odin, Osiris, Allah, Zeus, Ahura Mazda, God and their flunkies Buddha, Zarathustra, Moses, Mithra and,…
Iced Tea Spiked with LSD Found at Tea Party Rally
Searchlight, NV – A group of hippies, outraged that the Tea Party Movement is advertising their Saturday protest rally in Sen. Harry Reid’s hometown of Searchlight, Nevada as a conservative Woodstock, decided to teach Palin and her cronies a lesson…