Category: Top Stories
The Term ‘CEO’ Now Has So Many Different Meanings
At one time in our no-so-distant past the term ‘CEO’, meaning ‘Chief Executive Officer’, was invented to replace the perfectly good word ‘President’ as the title for the person heading up a company or corporation. For some reason, some bureaucratic…
Poli-Soup; The Cure For “All” Your “Ills”
The miracles of our modern world never cease! Claims are now being made by many pundits that their particular variety of political soup recipe is sure to find a cure for whatever ails you. To concoct your own cure, first…
First Seaman to Sail Up The Yin-Yang Gone Missing
Having heard about the mysterious and fabled Ying-Yang by scores of people who claimed to ‘have taken it up there,’ and wondering what going up it might actually mean for himself, sailor and adventurer, Frankie Johnson, advised his friends down…
Victoria’s Secret Unveils Dubai-Chic Line, Not Literally
Victoria’s Secret has announced that it will be opening one of its first shops outside of North America—in Dubai of all places. While we can’t speak for the sanity of the folks who take care of expansion projects for the…
Glossy News Implicated In Wikileaks Treason Scandal
Office Of Homeland Security, Washington, D.C. To the Editor Brian K. White, In the latest Wikileaks exposure, a document has been released that we find to be very disturbing. It is a missive sent via what are supposed to be…
Thanksgiving Over; Needy Back in Storage
Preliminary reports say this year’s Project ISFC exceeded all expectations. Project I’m So Freaking Compassionate, begun several years ago in Southern California, has now expanded to most of the United States. This year, Thanksgiving meals were served cafeteria fashion to…
Sarah Palin’s Mojo Explained by Voodoo Research
Scientists researching the phenomena of Politically Incorrect Mass Propaganda Syndrome (PIMPS) announced a breakthrough into the biggest question of 2010: “What makes Sarah Palin perpetually politically relevant?” After statistically modeling data from thousands of successful people, researchers contend that the…
Palin Develops Warts On Her Nose- Her Career Tanks
In a horrifying situation that would destroy the morale of many political pundits, Republican spokeswoman Sarah Palin has developed hideous warts on her face. Since their appearance Ms. Palin’s polls have dropped drastically. Statisticians estimate that the normally sexy and…
NPR to Use FOX Tactics to Survive In Modern US Media Climate
The recent Juan Williams firing scandal has led National Public Radio to realize that they need to develop more FOX News type media tactics if they are to survive. A radical top to bottom make-over has been ordered for the…
‘Wannabe’ Terrorist Punk’d In Portland… Aw, Snap
PORTLAND, Ore GlossyNews.com — Taking their cue from the genius of Ashton Kutcher, the FBI staged an elaborate prank on a Corvallis, OR teenager who thought he was part of a Jihadist plot to kill Christmas. Mohamed Osman Mohamud, 19,…